Guess It Can Wait

Ok. I give in. I agree with all the comments I recieved and I appreciate them more than you'll ever know. Everyone had the same line of thought. Let the Lord decide. So I will, or at least I will try.

I am not sure why I am drawn to this particular little girl. What drew me in, I'll probably never know. I will keep track of her and hope and pray that she finds a forever family. I guess that is all I can do. No, I am not giving up on adopting more. Believe me, we will. But with a small house, wanting a girl and definitely more than one more child, and having not enough bedrooms, I guess I will have to wait. Our house is small, it is not the house we want forever. Mike wants a house with more land and room for a workshop for his business. I want at least 3 bedrooms and a spare room for crafting, office, etc. I also want out of the city we live in. It is great for now with city preschool and the PAL program that offers great sport activities for Colby. But in the long run, I would like a better neighborhood. However, with this markey, there is no way we can sell our house and hope to get a mortgage on something new. So, we wait. We wait, and we wait.

It seems that I have always pushed my will on my life, trying to force things to happen. I didn't get my first teaching job right away and then only a part-time job. I didn't find my sweetheart right away, we married when I was 30 (ok, 31 the next month). I didn't have children when everyone else did, then I had to travel around the world to winter in Siberia. Nothing has come easy, although it hasn't been tragic or awful either, just..... hard. Now, I feel like I am pushing again. I don't want to push. I want it to be right for me, and for Mike, and especially for Colby. Now may be the right time for me, but I'm not sure it's right for all of us. So, I will stop and wait. I will leave it to God as so many wonderful people have mentioned and see what happens. Maybe I'll wait just a little while, or maybe another year or so. I just hope it won't be too long. But I give in. I hand over control (something I hate to do) to God, life in general, whoever it may be. We'll see what happens.

Help Please....Any Ideas

Ok. I know I have been gone awhile. We just returned from vacation in New Hampshire on Lake Winnepasaukee. I LOVE it there! We had a great time but it is nice to be hme and sleep in my own bed. And I promise to upload some great pics soon.

I'm not sure who really reads my blog anymore, other than a few devoted friends and family but I do need some help, please!! Our adoption agency has a list of "Horizon Kids" as they call them. Often older children or kids with some medical issues who are waiting for their forever families. I am constantly looking at the kids. Some have been on there since we began our adoption of Colby in late 2008. They break my heart. A few weeks ago, the agency posted a new child, a little girl aged 2 1/2. At the time there was no picture of her, just some information. I am not sure why but this posting struck my heart, even without the photo. I called the agency and they did send me her information and a few photos. She is ADORABLE! And she looks so much like Colby did at that age, it is scary. I just can't get her off of my mind. No, we have not started a new home study but Mike and I certainly ahve discussed it the whole vacation. There was a question of whether we could adopt a little girl because we only have the 2 bedroom so she would have to share a bedroom with Colby. But the agency and the regional representative where the girl is said it shouldn't be a problem. Wow! One hurdle gone. However, the HUGE hurdle still lurks. MONEY! I do know that the agency has a few subsidies for their Horizon Kids but they are not guaranteed.

OK guys. What do I do? Has anyone else taken subsidies, know of places that help finance adoptions, anything? If we begin our home study we aren't guaranteed to get this little girl, another family who is farther along than us can take her first. But, I'd love to try. I'm from a big family and so is Mike. I can't see having an only child. Colby really needs a sibling or two or three. It just feels like now is the time. He's been home almost 2 1/2 years and the ages would work great, just under 2 years apart. HELP!!! The heart says yes but the finances say yikes! Not sure we can finance this one alone.

Colby's First Music Videos

Now that I have a really cool phone, internet ready, I can upload some cute videos. So, here are a few of my little singer. Perhaps another Billy Joel?? What do you think?

Some Summer Fun in Pics and Videos