Conversing with a Two Year Old

Friday Colby and I had a few errands to run. Thursday had been a bright, warm, sunny day, but Friday was quite chilly. One stop we made was to the library downtown to pick up a book I had placed on hold. Driving to the library is always fun with Colby pointing out the trucks, the tractors at the construction sight, and so much more. As we drove away Colby pointed to a lady walking with her head down. She was walking somewhat quickly. As usual, I didn't really see her but Colby seems to see everything. Our conversation went like this:

Colby: Mommy, lady running.
Me: Where is she going?
Colby: Mommy, lady sad. (Colby usually doesn't give an answer to my questions.)
Me: Oh, why is the lady sad?
Colby: Mommy, lady sad. Lady chilly.

Just too precious.

How Do You Feel Being A Mommy?

This has been the most frequently asked question since we have come home. How does it feel? People ask both Mike and I all the time. Neither of us really knows how to answer.

I'm not sure I can say how it feels. I'm not sure the right words are there. Not one for words, unless written on paper, I can't usually answer anyone. Often they find it strange when I simply say, "I don't really know." I'm not sure if the feeling of mommyhood and daddyhood has trully settled in yet.

We have been home a week. Amazing. I never thought I'd see us home with Colby. It seemed such an unreachable dream. But here we are. Both my little men are taking naps and Mommy gets her time on the computer as she watches UCONN Men play against Notre Dame. The Women play later tonight. That's who I really like to watch. Aren't the tournaments starting soon? Anyway, a little reflection. Mommyhood seems unreal, amazing, tiring, thrilling, daunting, exciting, yet frustrating. It feels like every emotion I have ever felt has boiled up to the surface and is struggling to come out. There are moments of pure joy and moments of pure frustration. There are moments when everything feels just perfect and others when I question if Colby will ever learn to love us. So many new things to experience and watching my son, makes every experience a new one for me. The simplest of pleasures today, watching my son smile as he ate chicken nuggets and french fries at Wendy's. A new joy.

What will tomorrow bring?

Moving Ahead and Missing My Boy

Well, we have had some movement in the paperwork area. Our CPA finished the letter on Monday and Mike picked it up. I couldn't believe it. Mike immediately called the state for the state verification of his license. Hopefully that is in the mail and we will get it before the weekend. That is the last paper we need. I sent the rest of the papers out to get apostilled on Tuesday. The light is shining brighter. What great news!

Today I am sending a package to Tatiana, the director of Colby's baby home. It has a note for her and Colby as well as a few photos to add to his photo album and a couple cute long-sleeved shirts. It is already getting cool there. Mike said it was about 60 degrees yesterday. Hopefully the shirts fit him. I'm really not sure what size he might wear right now. I wish we had some sort of an update on him. Is he growing? Has he been eating well and getting lots of hugs? Boy do I miss him. Hopefully we will get back there soon. We are aiming for December right now. We shall see.

A Month Gone By, Feelings

It has been a month. 4 whole weeks since we first were in Russia and saw Colby for the very first time. At times it seems like yesterday and at other times, I wonder if we were really even there. A month ago we went from Yekaterinburg to Kamensk-Uralski to the baby home and met Tatiana, the baby home director. A month ago went to the baby home and first saw this blond haired, gray eyed little boy with the cute little smile and long skinny fingers. Those big gray eyes first looked at Mike and I in surprise but soon seemed to twinkle with delight as we played with him and brought him on the swing. I am not sure if I can say it was love at first sight. Perhaps yes, perhaps no. I do know that it seemed at the time to be a little surreal. This little boy will become my child, really? We will become a family? Is it really true? I still have a hard time believing in that concept. It still seems to good to be true. However, I now have a clear image of Colby in my head and I find myself thinking about him many times a day. Is it the same as a mother's love? I am not sure right now. But I know that it will be.

As for a month gone by, that is a good thing I guess. It at least brings us one month closer to going back. We finished our 8 doctor treasure hunt and are getting through the other paperwork. We are still waiting on the new passports and the second FBI check. We need to take more pictures of us and the house, including Colby's room. The crib is up, and has been since December. Mike has almost finished the dresser that he is building for Colby. We hope to have that in the room this weekend so we can take new pictures in there. We are still waiting on the mortgage and the car loan companies for those letters as well. Everything should be coming within a week so we should be able to hand most of it in soon. The paperwork with the new passport numbers will have to wait as will the financial statement. I want to wait on that until I find a job, hopefully within the next couple weeks. So, we are making progress but for me it is way too slow. Hopefully they are making progress in Russia as well. I have not heard from Svetlana yet. I hope we will get an update soon.