Pulling Hair

We have been home now just over a week. What a week it has been. What an amazing week of ups and downs, twists and turns. A week of pulling hair.

The past few days have not been easy ones. I think Colby is starting to settle in and has started testing our boundaries. Nothing very drastic but he does throw a great temper tantrum dropping to the floor and crying big crocodile tears. He also bangs his head against things which I think is an orphanage learned behavior. The thing that has upset me the most though is that Colby has begun pushing me away. He pushes both Mike and I away at times but within the past 3 days Colby has started pushing me away more and more. Right from the beginning COlby enjoyed snuggling with me, especially at bedtime and naptime. He would fall asleep in my arms as I rocked him. It was the sweetest thing. However, now he seems to want Mike more or even just to be left alone. I'm not sure why this has changed, but I miss my cuddles. It has really upset me at times, Sunday being the worst. I admit I do get frustrated with his screaming and tears, and being pushed away or even hit really hurts. I just don't know what to do and that makes me want to cry and pull my hair out in frustration.

Ok, that's the down. I guess I needed to moan a little but I must say that overall things have been wonderful. Colby has really enjoyed his new home. He is growing so much everyday. I love his dimples when he smiles and his laugh will melt anyone's heart. I think he is the cutest though when he starts to dance. He loves all kinds of music. His Poppy (Mike's grandfather) played polka for him when we went to visit last Friday. He smiled from ear to ear and waved his hands. He likes to point his fingers and wave his hands up and down. He almost looks like an orchestra conductor. He keeps a good rhythm too. I have tried to get a photo but he stops everytime to smile and the camera. Maybe I'll catch one soon.

Everyday Colby seems to learn new things. This weekend his new thing was blowing kisses. Colby has always enjoyed waving "baka" or bye bye. Now he waves both hello and goodbye but has also started to blow kisses. It is the cutest thing when he puts his hand on his cheek and smacks his lips. So cute. He has also learned to "shush" the dog. He puts his finger near his lips and "says" sh, sort of like blowing a raspberry.

But my most favorite part of being a mommy is holding my little man, when he will let me, and rocking him to sleep. When he gets sleepy or when he needs comfort, Colby wraps one arm around my neck and plays with my hair. He lightly pulls at my hair twisting it in his little fingers. That small gesture warms my heart and makes happy tears sparkle in my eyes. Whoever thought that someone pulling my hair would be a good thing?