Uncle Louie

This weekend, I had to tell Colby one of the hardest things I've had to say. I learned early Saturday morning that my Uncle Lou passed away. It was very sudden. He was out with his friends riding his snowmobile. Something he has always loved to do. We still are unsure what happened.

My Uncle Lou is my mom's youngest sibling, and only brother. He was full of life, silly, even a little crazy at times. As a little girl, he would bring me with his buddies to see the car races nearby. I grew up loving to watch Nascar, cheering on Dale Earnhardt. These outings were very special. My uncle, his buddies, and me. In the summers we spent many days at my grandparents' cottage on Lake Winnepesaukee in New Hampshire. I was put on waterskiis around the age of 4 with Uncle Louie right next to me. I remember falling once and he stooped down, grabbed the back of my life jacket and picked me right back up. He was always right by my side if I would fall.

Uncle Louie has 3 kids. He was able to see his oldest, Stacy, get married last summer. But he will never see his other kids get married or any of his grandchildren. Everyone is in such shock, I still can't pull my head around the thought that he won't be there to teach Colby how to waterski this summer.

Last year we lost Mike's grandparents as well. Colby was close to them but they were old and also very sick. This just seems so different. I wasn't sure what to tell Colby. So I told him the truth. Uncle Louie was on his snowmobile and had an accident. Colby asked how he's going to walk again after hitting his head. I had to say that he isn't. I had to say that Uncle Louie is now in Heaven. Colby felt a little better knowing that Uncle Louie is in Heaven with Mamie and Poppy (his parents) and Nana and Poppy (Mike's grandparents). He has asked many questions since then. The hardest one being "How do you get to Heaven?". I had to state simply, "I don't know." Colby was also concerned about not being able to call Uncle Louie on his birthday and the one that stung the most, "But Mommy, who's going to call me Goober now?". Uncle Louie has always called Colby and my nephew Keith his "Goobers". Colby also was worried that Keith has someone to give him hugs too, that Keith would be sad too. I just love my kid! So caring.

I'm not sure Colby has truly processed this whole experience. Then again, I'm not sure I have either. I guess the best I can do is take it one day, one question, at a time. And Colby's smile and laugh will help me do just that.

A Tough Question

This has not been a good week at our house. Rather, a very long, hectic, and very unholiday feeling one. On Friday morning we received a call that Mike's grandmother, Nana, passed away. She was 89 and an amazing lady. I only wish that I had had more time to get to know her and have her be a part of my life. The funeral was today and it certainly has been a long day. It hurts to see my husband and his dad upset. I can only hope that they know how much I care for them and that I am here for them always. So many emotions, both happy and sad, all rolled into one. I can't help but think of losing my own grandmother just a few short years ago. Here is the link to the post I wrote about her. Mamie

The tough question was one posed by Colby. Mike relayed a conversation he had with Colby on Friday morning. We had received the call very early and Mike was waiting with Colby for the bus. The bus picks him up at Mike's parents' house which is right down the street from Mike's grandparents' house. I guess the paramedic truck came out of their road and Colby, not even knowing what had happened yet (we told him about Nanna after school), said "Uh oh, someone got hurt at Nanna's." Yes a coincidence. I think he meant to say on Nanna's street but he said at Nanna's. At dinner that night we were talking about Nanna and how she was now in Heaven with my grandparents, Mamie and Poppy, and she was there to see Baby Jesus. Colby's question hit us both like a ton of bricks. He said he was sad and missed Nanna and understood that she was in Heaven. Then he asked, "But how did she get to Heaven? How did the Paramedic help her get there?" We were both ready to cry and left speechless, unsure what to say. I know we will continue to talk to Colby about this for a few days still. He is so smart and seems to understand so much but yet he is so young and I don't think ready to understand yet. At times he still thinks she'll come back but then he'll yell at Mike and me for saying that we are going to Nanna's house. Yelling and saying it's not Nanna's just Poppy's (Mike calls his grandfather Poppy too.) I just don't know what to say. How would you answer this tough question??? I had posed this question on Facebook too and got no response. Help please!

(And I promise a Happy Christmas post next time.)