A Month

It has been raining and storming a lot here lately. I guess the weather seems to reflect both mine and Mike's moods. It's been a rough couple days but I am not quite sure why. Why just the past couple days? Why so hard? I guess the simplest answer is, it has been a month since we came home. A month. It seems like forever but yet it seems like it went quickly. At least we can say a month has gone by so now we are a month closer. But how many more months need to go by? How much longer do we need to wait? While we wait, I turn toward my writing. It lets me get my thoughts and feelings out. The following is a poem that I wrote brought about by the rain. It was written to my baby boy, Colby.

Peace Through Writing

June 29th. I have always been better with the written word than the spoken word. I was looking through the internet and remembered that CM mentioned that she was writing a blog about her adoption journey. I found it and realized that by writing my own thoughts that I would be able to get some of my frustrations out and hopefully feel a little better about waiting for a court date that seems years away. Her blog is beautiful and reading it helps me realize that my thoughts, fears, and feelings are common and it is ok to feel the way I feel. That brings me some peace. Thank you CM.

Hopefully my blog will be read by others and perhaps it will help other people going through their adoption journeys. That is what a hope for. I have almost gotten my journey caught up to date. The next few posts will probably be about the paperwork and medical nightmare that we are up against. I can't believe what we need to do. It seems ridiculous but I suppose that it is necessary, according to Russia. I only hope that the doctors will be cooperative with all of this. We shall see.

The next few days I need to focus on two different things. 1) Setting up appointments with the 7 or 8 different specialists to sort out the medical paperwork. 2) Trying to find a job. The second has been very difficult. I am not sure if I want another teaching position. Perhaps. I am not sure what I want to do. I am great with computers and would be an asset to any company in an office. If there is anyone who has any thoughts about a job, please let me know. That and the medical information seem to be the next obstacles to overcome on our adoption journey. Luckily I have Mike to help me and give me his support, and I have Colby waiting at the end, a clear reminder of why I am putting myself through this emotional rollercoaster.