Guess It Can Wait

Ok. I give in. I agree with all the comments I recieved and I appreciate them more than you'll ever know. Everyone had the same line of thought. Let the Lord decide. So I will, or at least I will try.

I am not sure why I am drawn to this particular little girl. What drew me in, I'll probably never know. I will keep track of her and hope and pray that she finds a forever family. I guess that is all I can do. No, I am not giving up on adopting more. Believe me, we will. But with a small house, wanting a girl and definitely more than one more child, and having not enough bedrooms, I guess I will have to wait. Our house is small, it is not the house we want forever. Mike wants a house with more land and room for a workshop for his business. I want at least 3 bedrooms and a spare room for crafting, office, etc. I also want out of the city we live in. It is great for now with city preschool and the PAL program that offers great sport activities for Colby. But in the long run, I would like a better neighborhood. However, with this markey, there is no way we can sell our house and hope to get a mortgage on something new. So, we wait. We wait, and we wait.

It seems that I have always pushed my will on my life, trying to force things to happen. I didn't get my first teaching job right away and then only a part-time job. I didn't find my sweetheart right away, we married when I was 30 (ok, 31 the next month). I didn't have children when everyone else did, then I had to travel around the world to winter in Siberia. Nothing has come easy, although it hasn't been tragic or awful either, just..... hard. Now, I feel like I am pushing again. I don't want to push. I want it to be right for me, and for Mike, and especially for Colby. Now may be the right time for me, but I'm not sure it's right for all of us. So, I will stop and wait. I will leave it to God as so many wonderful people have mentioned and see what happens. Maybe I'll wait just a little while, or maybe another year or so. I just hope it won't be too long. But I give in. I hand over control (something I hate to do) to God, life in general, whoever it may be. We'll see what happens.

The Long Wait

Ok, I thought that waiting for a referral or waiting for a court date was long, but this wait seems much longer. I am glad that we stayed in Russia for the 10 day waiting period but now it's time to go home. Our 10 day period is actually up tomorrow, Valentine's Day but that is a Saturday. We will actually pick Colby up on Tues to get all the documents we need for his passport and the plane tickets to Moscow. We will fly out to Moscow on Wed night once his Russian passport is ready. I guess it takes a day for that to go through.

Luckily it is much warmer now. Not Springlike but not frigid cold either. Above freezing! The past few days Mike and I have spent just walking around the city enjoying the warmer fresh air. The apartment gets very stuffy since there is no way to control the heat. We did go see Colby on Monday and had hoped to go today but I don't think we will. Svetlana is busy with chasing our paperwork and paperwork for 2 other couples. They arrive on Monday and have their court dates on Friday.

Some good news, Laura has heard that her paperwork is almost set and she should be coming to Ekat to get her little girl in March. Hang in there Laura! You're almost here!

Other fun facts: Mike and I saw a variety of animals at the city zoo. We saw the typical lions and tigers and bears (on my). Even a Siberian tiger. We also saw mallard ducks. To go to the zoo to see ducks! And yesterday we got to watch the UCONN men's basketball game. They beat Syracuse. No girls games, but they did show the end of the game when Pat Summit's girls got her 1000 win. Good job Pat. Not that I am a Tenn fan at all. Don't worry mom. I have been lucky enough to find ESPN America so I have gotten to watch a lot of men's college basketball and NHL hockey.

Imagine going all the way to Siberia to see mallard ducks, UCONN men play basketball and Boston play hockey. Oh well, what a trip...

It's Tuesday

Ok, it's Tuesday. Things are all set. Bags are packed, the passports returned from NYC via FedEx (GO FedEx!), the house is clean.... Can we leave now???

Jill, a fellow Ekat adopter is now on her way to Ekat. She is going for her first trip, to accept her referral. No info yet. It was great to talk to her last night as she was going to the airport. Her and her husband left late last night, the same flight Mike and I are going to take tomorrow. Right now they should be in Frankfurt for their long layover before going on to Ekat. Mike and I wish them a safe trip and we hope to see them when we get there.

So, can we go now????

A Busy Week, Amazing Emails, and Almost Time To Go

Well, here it is Monday. We are planned to leave to bring Colby home on Wed night. That has been the plan for about a week and a half now. Is it Wed yet? This week has been one of the longest weeks ever. I thought waiting to get the news was difficult, this wait is even harder. I guess that is because we know we are seeing him REALLY soon but yet we need to wait still. Ugh!

I spent the week getting things organized and cleaned. Many loads of laundry, sippy cups and bottles and plates all washed. Colby's suitcase is all packed. I can't believe how much stuff we have for him. Maybe I've packed too much but it is hard to know. We'll have him for at least 4 days so we need to bring just about everything for him. Most stuff is too expensive to buy over there, except for diapers and some food. So we have everything else. Mike got his suitcase packed yesterday. It sure is different packing for winter in Siberia than it was for summer in Siberia. So, now today it is my turn to pack and make sure everything is organized. I also need to sit and wait for the FedEx man to bring our passports. They are on the truck ready for delivery so hopefully they are on their way. I don't want to wait all day.

This weekend Mike and I tore through the house and cleaned everything. We even pulled the stove out to clean behind it. I had already cleaned the washer and dryer during the week. (The washer and dryer are in the basement, where no one usually sees them.) I guess this is what people refer to as "nesting". Last night we had our parents over for dinner. We made home-made pizza and just enjoyed having company over. It was sort of our thank you for everything and our last dinner together before they become grandparents. I wanted to thank them somehow and a simple dinner will never be sufficient but it was nice to have them over. We should do it more often. Our parents have been so supportive and amazing through all of this. I'm not sure how we could do this without them. Their excitement and anticipation of having their grandson home has pulled us through many a rough moment. Mike and I can't thank them enough.

On another note, I was pleasantly surprised by an email I received last week. Jill is also adopting from Ekat and she was searching through adoption blogs and came across mine. Amazingly, her and her husband live right here in CT, about 20 minutes from us and are using Wide Horizons for their adoption. At the time, Jill was waiting to go for her first trip to Ekat. A Monday (today) phone call was planned to set their date of travel for later this week. Well, she received the phone call on Friday and are actually leaving TODAY! I can't believe it! I'm not sure how they got ready to leave so fast. Just getting the Russian Visas is difficult, not to mention the airplane tickets. Luckily our agency and the travel agency we both are using, cEventa, is wonderful and they are all set to go. I wish them a safe journey. Hopefully we will meet up with them in Ekat over the weekend.

So, here it is Monday. We leave Wed night, late. Mike's parents are bringing us to the airport. We are getting there.

Judges

I have heard many stories about both judges in Ekat, one being a woman, the other a man. I don't know either of their names. Some stories have been good, others not so good. To answer one question, Mike and I will be dealing with the male judge. I'd love to know his name, but I don't so he is simply known around our house as "that guy judge". I have heard that of the two, he is a little easier in court and not quite so demanding with odd paperwork requests but we shall see. I just wish he would look at our paperwork and tell us what he wants. I hate this waiting period. It was much easier to wait when I had something to do, but now it is out of my hands. I guess that is my controlling side coming out. Everything is out of my control and it really bugs me. I guess I need to put my patient side on a little longer.

Another Letter Sent

Yesterday I sent another letter to Colby and Tatiana, the director of the baby home. I have been sending one a month. It helps me feel a little more connected while we are apart. Along with the letters, I try to send a little something. The July letter included two little baseball caps. They always keep the kids in hats when they go outside so we wanted to send a couple for Colby and his friends. In August I sent a couple long sleeved shirts. It is starting to get cooler there already. Winter will be coming quickly. The two families that I know are in Russia now say that it is about 50 degrees now. Yesterday I sent a couple disposable cameras. I admit this was a selfish act on my part. Nothing for my little guy or the baby home but completely for me. I am hoping that the caretakers and Tatiana will take some pictures of him, themselves, and the baby home. I want to make a memory book for Colby and those pictures will be great to have as a reminder to share with Colby as he grows up. I'll also love seeing how much he will grow before we go back.

We are still hoping for Christmas. We shall see. The documents should be with the judge so hopefully we will hear what docs he wants us to update. Keep your fingers crossed for us for Christmas!

Still Waiting....No News

IT has been about a week since I posted anything on here, but there really isn't much to say. We had heard on 9/6 that our court documents were sent to Russia to be translated. I am assuming that they have probably arrived there and are in that process now. I hope that they hurry up with that so the judge gts them soon. We have not heard anything else. I haven't received any updates on Colby. I was told in July that they might give us an update once every 3 months or so. What agony.... It has been almost 3 months since we first saw Colby and I can only imagine how he has grown and changed. He must be a little bigger now and probably walking on his own. He was just on the verge of doing that when we first saw him. Is he talking now? Is he getting lots of attention and love? I hope to write him again soon and I want to include a couple throw away cameras. Maybe the caretakers will take a few pictures of him and themselves so I will have something to look at later to see how he is changing. I hate not being there. This is really hard.

The Beginning of the Wait

Well, it has been over 2 months since we first saw Colby. It is now September and children have returned to school. I have begun my new job as a school photographer. My first "shoot" was on Friday 9/5. It was tiring but fun. I really enjoyed interacting with the kids. I was really worried about how it would feel to be in a school and not be the teacher. But honestly, I didn't really think about it much. I was able to enjoy the kids and not worry about the administration and the requirements of teaching. It is nice to have my nights back and not worry about correcting papers and grades and all of that. I am thinking about doing some tutoring but I am not sure how to get that started. I don't really know anyone with kids except those where I taught before but I don't want to go there. We'll see what comes up. In the mean time, we begin the long wait.

As mentioned previously, Mike and I sent in our court documents on Wed. We received an email from Vica on Friday saying that they looked great, well organized, and she was shipping them off to Russia that night to get translated. Then they will go to the judge in Yekaterinburg. Hopefully not too much will need to be updated. But for now, it is not in my hands. I did my job as quickly as I could. (I hate waiting on people for paperwork.) I wish we had gotten in done quicker but I have been told it takes most people about 2 months to complete it all. That is how long it took us. And now we wait. While we wait, I am glad to be able to read fellow adoptive couples' blogs. I have enjoyed reading about how Nicholas is doing now that he is home and I look forward to many of the joys that are occurring in that household. I have recently stumbled onto another blog and that family is traveling in Yekaterinburg to get their twin girls. I look forward to seeing those photos as well. Hopefully Mike and I will share in their happiness soon. We are still looking at the end of this year but I am not sure. It has taken most families about 8-11 months inbetween the first trip and bringing their child home.If it does take that long, and we do miss Christmas than I hope to have Colby home before his birthday in April. I don't think I could bear him not being with us for a second birthday. Christmas will be hard enough. Please, everyone, keep your fingers crossed for us. Wish us good luck. We certainly deserve something good to happen.

Lonely Rain

It's raining here
Is it raining there
Can you hear the pitter patter
And the splish splash of the rain
Can you smell the sweetness
Of the freshly washed grass

It's raining here
Is it raining there
Does the rumble of the thunder
Frighten you from your sleep
Does the flash of the lightning
Sparkle brightly in your eyes

It's raining here
Is it raining there
Don't fret my little one
Someone loves you dear
Sleep tight my little one
Dream of me, as I think of you

It's raining here
Is it raining there
One day soon you'll see
I'll hold you, comfort you
One day soon you'll see
Together mommy and baby will be.

July 27, 2008
Melissa

Separation during the adoption process is not easy. But in the end, we will be together, one family. That is my promise to you. I only hope it will be before the new year comes. Until then, my sweet Colby, I will dream of you. Will you dream of me?

Still Waiting

I had completed my 4 pound paperwork "baby", as I referred to it to many of my friends and family on March 5, 2008. I was ecstatic about having my end of the process complete, but now I had to learn to be patient as I waited for other people to do their job. As most of my family can attest to, I am not a patient waiter. On the contrary, I like to know when things will be done, who will be doing them, and what I can do to hurry up the process. Ok, you can say it, I do have a control problem. Luckily I had my job to keep me preoccupied through March and some of April. After that, things only got worse. Now I was waiting for someone to call about the adoption yet worrying that I would need to turn the referral down because I did not have a job anymore. I felt like is was riding on a runaway train of failure. I am not sure how I got through it, except for Mike's constant and unending love and support, as well as the support and love of my mother and other family members. March and April seemed like the longest months ever.

Around early-April, we finally got a phone call from Vica. Oh my gosh! Could this be it? Mike talked to her that day. I don't remember where I was but I do remember feeling almost jealous that he received the call and I didn't. It now seems awful to think that I felt that way, but I guess I always imagined both Mike and I home together, sharing that phone call together. Well, in the end, Vica was calling to let us know the region that our dossier was sent to in Russia. She also needed us to fill out one more piece of paperwork and she hoped to have our referral within a few weeks of that paper being completed. Mike and I signed the paper, I got it notarized and apostilled right away and it was off in about 2 days. Then we waited some more, still uncertain when we would receive "the call".

After we finished that paper, I let 2 weeks go by before I started to "bug" first Mike then Vica about the referral. Vica must have hated having me email her every week. I didn't know what else to do and emailing her helped to convince myself that I was doing something to push the referral along. Illogical thinking, but when you are waiting for a life-changing event, your thoughts don't always follow logical paths. Luckily I kept most of my thoughts to myself, although I shared many with Mike, otherwise everyone would think I was going crazy. Perhaps I was, but they did say we would have our referral very soon and April and then all of May went by without a call. Where was that call? Why did I have to suffer all this waiting time? Vica said about 2 weeks and then another month passed by without a call. My little patience that I did have was waining very thin.

In between waiting, I was also trying to find a job. However, I was very uncertain of what I wanted to do. Did I want to continue with the type of job I had before? Was it time for something new? Opening a book store would be the ultimate but the judge wants to see financial gains, not a financial disaster. Everything in my life was in such turmoil and I felt like I was loosing control. I hate that feeling. Where's the job that's right for me? Where's the phone call? Yikes, an interview! I hate interviews! Everything was a mess. My saving grace was the support from Mike, my family, and my few friends. But fixing the job situation was, and continues to be, my problem. No one can fix that for me. So I decided to work on that issue first and perhaps that would keep me busy enough to stop thinking about the pending referral call. Or so I thought. So the rollercoaster took a nose-dive and I needed to get myself back up. I think I am getting there. We are now on a steady, yet slow climb up.

Paperwork and Questioning

After our initial meeting with Wide Horizons, I, as mentioned, knew that we would be in good hands. I also knew that this would be a scary journey to embark on. I didn't, however, know just how long it might take. Some people have told us that they waited years for a child to adopt and others said they waited about a year. Just how long would it take? We were about to find out.

Our first meeting was in mid-September on a Saturday. I remember waiting about a week to get a set of paperwork, later to find out it was labelled as Part A. That set of paperwork was actually very easy to complete and I raced through it in a week. We were then put in touch with a Social Worker- Christine. Thus began our home study. We also started on Part B of the paperwork.

I was able to complete the Part B paperwork within a couple months. By December we were also finishing our home study. Over Christmas we waited for Christine to write our home study report. This was completed by mid January. Then we began piling the paperwork for our dossier which would go to Russia. That paperwork would require a lot of notarizations and apostilles, or state authorization stamps. We needed to receive those from both Massachusettes and Connecticut. Finally, after much copying I was able to send out my 4 pound "baby" of paperwork- one original dossier set and one copy in March. I was ecstatic! Finally, my end of the paperwork was complete- or so I thought. Now I needed to wait for the referral.

We were told that a referral call could come any time from 1 month to 4 months. I often mentioned to Mike that if I didn't get the call by May I would get very cranky. Luckily I have a wonderful husband and he was very patient the whole time. I, on the other hand, am not quite so patient. But, during this process I had plenty of opportunities to practice patience. It is a virtue I am told. So, thus was the end of the paperwork, we thought, and thus began the wait for the referral. Wait, wait, wait!