Crazy 8's

Ok. A fellow blogger tagged me with this one. And it seems kind of fun so here goes!

8 Things I Look Forward To Doing:

1) Going to New Hampshire to Lake Winnepasaukee with my sister Kristin and our families.
2) Watching Colby go in the water in NH.
3) Watching Colby learn more everyday.
4) Spending more time with Mike.
5) Spending time with my family.
6) Taking a long, hot shower whenever I can get the chance.
7) Baking cookies.
8) Getting a new job, whatever it may be.

8 Things I Did Yesterday:

1) Spent the morning with Mike and Colby at Hop Brook, a small lake nearby.
2) Watched Colby wade in the water. So cute in just his diaper.
3) Took a long, hot shower.
4) Watched the Mets get creamed my the Marlins, YUCK!
5) Sent Colby off with Mike's parents for a visit. Only the second time both Mike and I have
been away from him.
6) Went to dinner and a "date" with Mike for the first time since Colby came home.
7) Emjoyed said dinner at my favorite restraunt, Olive Garden.
8) Enjoyed a special ice cream treat before returning home to Colby. Received a HUGE hug and kiss and enjoyed putting my child to sleep. What a day!

8 Things I Wish I Could Do:

1) Find a new home with at least an acre of property.
2) Use said acre of property to keep an Appaloosa horse.
3) Learn to ride and jump said horse.
4) Go on another cruise with my family.
5) Live near a lake.
6) Learn to be a cowboy like Poppy.
7) Own a bookstore/cafe.
8) See Poppy again and have him play with Colby.

8 TV Shows I Watch:

1) House
2) Bones
3) So You Think You Can Dance or any other dance show
4) Hell's Kitchen and any other cooking show especially Top Chef
5) Project Runway
6) Mets or Red Sox
7) Bull Riding
8) Just about any sport, except NBA and golf.

Now I Tag You:

Laura
Joy
Sharon

And just a cute pic:

Is It A Daw or an "Ee Aw"?

Well, our Memorial Day weekend was very busy. We started off with a nice dinner at my sister Kristin's house. My sister Karin and her family came up from NYC for a short visit and we all had a cookout at Kristin and Steve's. It was nice for Colby to have some time with his cousins. Karin and her boys hadn't seen Colby since Easter and Jeff (her husband) hadn't since Colby yet. He wasn't able to come up at Easter. They gave Colby his birthday present, the boys all rode bikes, and everyone had a great time. That was on Friday night.

Sunday we started with a haircut at my Aunt Jackie's for Colby and a visit with Mamie. After a quick lunch, we headed to the parade in Woodbury. I wasn't sure how Colby would do but he did great. Not only was the parade at nap time, but Colby hadn't seen the horse carriages before. I didn't know if he would sit in it for the parade. But he did! He did so well. He loved waving at everyone and everyone thought he and Corbin (my cousin Heather's boy) looked so cute. Corbin was "driving" the carriage hooked up to a miniature horse. Mike and I walked alongside and my Aunt Doone actually led the horse. The horses are my Aunt Doone's. They are adorable. When Colby saw Morning Star, a real small brown and white paint, he actually called it a "daw" or dog. Morning Star is not much taller than our dog Misha. I told Colby he wasn't a Dog but a horse. Colby then said, "Ee Aw? Nope!" He calls all horses, donkeys, etc. "EeAws". He has an Eeyore at home so I guess all animals that look like that are "Ee aws, or eeyores. Way too cute!

After the parade we went to my Aunt Doone's house for steaks on the grill. Colby was able to play with my cousin Jason's little boy Jayden. He will be one in Sept. And of course, Colby loved chasing the dogs around the house, especially the little one. It was a busy day for our little man and without a nap too. But he did a great job. I am very proud of him. Since he enjoyed the parade so much, we decided to try the Naugatuck parade the next morning, Memorial Day. It is one of the biggest parades in CT. Big, long, and loud!

We had to wake Colby up in the morning and head to Naugatuck early. The parade started at 9:15. Colby hopped right in the carriage and started waving at everyone. At one point he actually stood up and clapped yelling "Yeah!". I think we have a future politician on our hands. What a ham! He loved all of the attention. The parade wasn't over until about 10:30-11. Mike and I decided to bring Colby home for lunch and a nap. He fell asleep until 3 so we didn't go to either picnic. We spent a quiet Memorial Day together. Mike and Colby took a nap and I read a book outside. We cooked chicken on the grill and just relaxed. What a hectic weekend.

Now coming up we have our second meeting with the social worker and a trip to Yale Adoption Clinic for a Developmental Assessment. I'm sure Colby is on track developmentally but I just want someone knowledgeable in the adoption world to check. So, much more to come. We also have a wedding to go to in June and a baby shower, both the same weekend. The wedding will be tough because it is about an hour and a half away, late afternoon, and we will be leaving Colby with my dad. We've left him for a couple hours before, but this will be most of the day and during bedtime. Yikes! I'm hoping to still have Mike's parents watch him for a couple hours before then so we can have a "date". Mike still owes me a birthday dinner. Maybe this weekend!

Colby enjoyed a ride on the tractor at Aunt Jackie's before his haircut.

Corbin and Colby waiting for the parade to start in Woodbury.

A quick ride on Morning Star. My little cowboy!

Checking out the firetrucks with Dad before the parade.

"I can drive right Mom?" Colby with Sunny.

Corbin and Colby taking the time for a photo op.

A Busy Weekend Planned

I hadn't realized but I haven't blogged on here in a week. We have been busy I guess. I hope to get some great photos this weekend though to add. We have a busy weekend planned.

Tomorrow Colby is going to be in the Woodbury Memorial Day Parade. My grandfather, Poppy, used to have miniature horses on his farm. Now most of them are gone but my Aunt Doone has a few and we still do the parades in Woodbury and Naugatuck. The Woodbury one is short and pretty quiet. The only problem, it is in the afternoon right at nap time. Colby will be riding in a horse drawn carriage with my cousin's son Corbin. We will walk along beside them. Before the parade we are going to have Colby's hair cut. It has grown a lot since March and is going wild! On Memorial Day Colby can be in the Naugatuck parade too, but I want to see how well he does tomorrow. The Naugatuck parade is long and very noisy. They even have a fly over by jets. But it is in the morning. Then we can go to my Aunt Jackie's house or Mike's Aunt Noelle's house for a picnic. Not sure which we will do. Last year we went to Aunt Noelle's.

Next week we have our second appointment with our social worker. This time we need to go to their office in West Hartford. That is on Thurs. I can't wait for Christine to see how much Colby has changed and how much he has learned. We last saw her in early March not long after we got home.

So, I will post pics ASAP and let everyone know how Thursday goes. Until then, I hope I have enough energy for the busy weekend ahead!

Thank Yous and and Update

I can't thank everyone enough for the kind words, words of wisdom, and support that I received from my last post. Many people left a comment and many more emailed me. It is amazing to realize the amount of support that we can receive from a blog. It is one thing to try and explain how I feel to my family and friends but they haven't gone through what I have, and many of you have. Just knowing that my emotions have been experienced by others makes me feel better.

Now for an update: Colby continues to learn more and more every day. He has started to speak in 2-3 word phrases, other than his favorite "No, no bad dog!". Now his favorite thing to say is "All done.". It is rather cute because he alsmost sing songs it to us. We are noticing a growth in his independence as well. He certainly knows what he wants and when he wants it. Some frustration does arise because he can't always express himself clearly, but not for a lack of trying. He is VERY vocal, holding complete conversations with us and everyone else. There is true meaning behind what he says, I just wish I knew what it was.

As for the bonding: There are ups and downs. Just the other day Colby seemed to only want me. Then the next day it was Mike he searched for. Who knows what tomorrow will bring. I think he is still trying to sort out who we are and what a "family" is. A new concept for him that will probably take awhile. Right now Mike is Dada and I am Mama but I'm not sure he knows what that means. It will come. Patience is needed and we need to remember that it has only been 3 months since we came home. Sometimes I forget and think he has been here forever!

Another update: My fellow bloggers Laura and JD have just left Ekat. They were there for almost 4 weeks. But they left with their daughter on May 13th (my birthday!) for Moscow. They are officially a family. Their daughter Kristina is so adorable. Congrats to the Deary Family! Hope to see more photos soon!

My Birthday....and Some Thoughts

Tomorrow is my birthday. It seems like we have had so much to celebrate since Colby came home. Easter, his birthday, family birthdays, Mother's Day, and now my birthday. I'm not sure what we will do tomorrow. I might bring Colby to the park if it is nice out in the morning. Mike has something planned for dinner. Mike's Mom's family will be in town and they want to see Colby so I have to bring him to his parents' house around 4 I think. Other than that, hopefully just a quiet day.

Colby has now been home almost 3 months. I am thrilled to finally have him home. He is thriving and becoming such a big boy. Quite independent, happy, and so outgoing. He truly is a joy to be around. I love seeing him learn new things everyday. He now loves to sit and read books, he wants to inspect everything and have us tell him what things are. He tries to repeat everything we say and do (we really need to watch what we say and do). And he loves to play outside.

So why am I finding things so difficult at times? Why do I find myself sad and frustrated? Isn't motherhood supposed to be wonderful? We celebrated Mother's Day but yet I don't truly feel like a mother. How should I feel? Colby certainly has bonded with us, more so Mike than myself. He loves his Daddy. When Mike is around, Colby prefers to sit with him and play with him. Colby has even started to ask Mike to put him to bed. I have lost my nighttime snuggles and in a way, I guess I am feeling jealous. I hate that! I don't want to be jealous. I don't want to feel sad. I am thrilled that Mike and Colby get along so well. That is what we are striving for, right? So why is it that the bond between Colby and I isn't quite so strong yet, but yet I am the one he spends most of his time with?

Last year, I was teaching elementary school. Now I stay at home to watch Colby. I love being with him but I miss having a job. I'm not sure I want to teach anymore but I do miss working. Wierd huh? I think I miss the adult interaction more so than the work per se.

I have had 34 years of being a daughter, about 10 years of being a teacher, and 3 years of being a wife. I guess with having only 3 months of being a mom it is ok to have these strange feelings. I KNOW I love Colby, I KNOW he has connected with me, and I KNOW that with time our relationship will grow stronger. But right now, it is hard. Right now, I get frustrated. Right now, I feel more like Coby's caretaker than his mom. Please tell me this is ok and it will change. Please give me some helpful hints. Please share your own emotional journey with me.

Ok, a quick disclaimer. I also know that both moms and many family members read this blog. I always share with Mike what I write, but not always right away. Mike and I have talked a lot about my feelings right now but I don't want others to bug him about it. These are my thoughts, not his. Please direct comments, thoughts, helpful ideas my way. Thanks!

My First Mother's Day

Yesterday was my first Mother's Day as a mommy. Wow! I wasn't sure if I would ever make it there. But, I have!

Mike and Colby surprised me with a big card with dogs on it. Colby loves dogs. When you open the card it sings, "You Make Me Want To Shout!". It is too cute. Mike had Colby scribble on it. He is just starting to play with his crayons and markers. Then Colby helped Mike make Belgian waffles with chocolate chips, one of my favorites. We spent the morning visiting with my grandmother, Mamie. She lives with my Aunt Linda and her family not far from us. My cousin Heather also lives there with her 9 year old son Corbin. Colby loved visiting with Mamie and playing with Corbin. We came home in time for a quick lunch and nap time. Mike and I spent nap time planting the flowers that he bought me for Mother's Day/my birthday. I had picked out a few more perennials and a bunch of annuals. We will also plant some vegetables, but I love flowers. After nap time we visited with Mike's grandmother, Nana, and had dinner with Mike's parents. Unfortunately, my mom and dad are away at Myrtle Beach until next week so I couldn't see her on Mother's Day. But we did talk on the phone.

So, overall the day went well. Colby enjoyed visiting everyone and seemed to have a good time. It was a nice day.

I hope all mothers and mothers-to-be had a wonderful Mother's Day.

Build-A-Bear With Aunt Jan and "Daddy" George

This Sunday Mike, Colby, and I went to Build-A-Bear with my sister-in-law Jan and her dad "Daddy" George. I have known Jan since I was little. She was one of my dance instructors and then when I was in high school she married my brother Chris. Now not only is she my friend but my sister too! Cool! Her dad is like another dad to me so I have always called him Daddy George. To lessen confusion, I guess we'll have Colby call him Uncle George.

Anyway, Jan and George couldn't make it to Colby's birthday party and wanted to do something special with him. Jan loves Build-A-Bear, as do I, and she wanted to bring Colby there for his first time. Unfortunately Colby was a little cranky and did have a temper tantrum in the store. He noticed a toy stroller with a bear in it and he began "driving" it around the store, saying "Vroom, Vroom" the whole time. When Mike and I took the stroller away he had his fit. I ended up taking him out of the store for a couple minutes to calm down. That seemed to help a little.

Colby loved looking at the stuffing machine, when it wasn't on, and the nice lady let him put a heart in his animal and one in its bookbag. He picked out a turtle and its bookbag is its shell. It is really cute! After stuffing the turtle Jan and Colby took it for its bath. Colby loves brushing his own hair and the turtle got a good brushing too. That is when Colby saw the stroller near the back of the store and the temper arose. I felt terrible for Jan and George. They had looked forward to this outing for weeks and his temper tantrum really put a damper on it.

I don't think Colby understood the "dressing" part of this activity and he was getting frustrated. But Auntie Jan found him his own stroller and we out Colby's turtle in it. Then he was happy, although I do know a few people got bumped into and/or run over. But Colby wheeled his turtle, now named Present but referred to as Turtle, out of the store and into the mall. He enjoyed pushing the stroller in the open areas of the mall. After walking around a little we all went to The Rainforest Cafe. Some of Colby's temper might have been that he was hungry. He ate his lunch all up and even some of mine! He loved the monkeys when they came to life and we had a great lunch. So, the outing ended on a good note. I really hope Daddy George and Jan had a good time. We will have to do it again soon.

Here are some cute photos of our outing and Colby with Turtle:

Turtle is stuffed! Thank you nice lady!

Time for a bath. Thank you for helping Auntie Jan.

At home with Turtle. Poor Turtle got a rough ride in his stroller.

Taking a nap with Turtle. Too cute!