Well, I am happy to report that after some frustration yesterday with doctors, we have made some good progress with our paperwork today. Many of you will be happy to know that Mike and I still do not have a criminal record as noted by the FBI. The background checks were a pleasant surprise early this morning. The state is verifying the 7 doctors licenses for us so that should be on its way. We do however, need to obtain copies of each doctors board certifications in their specialties. The state can not verify their specializations so we need separate documents for that. Of the 7 doctors, I was able to get 3 today and I think 2 are in the mail. The other 2 are still a work in progress. So, some happiness today. We also went to see the mayor today and got him to sign the letter proving that we own and reside in our house. We also obtained the house deed and property card. All with certified copies, notarizations, and town seal/stamp. Hopefully Russia will appreciate all the stamps on our documents. Now we just need to send them to the state to get a state stamp or apostille. So many checks and balances. Is it good or bad? I'm not sure but it isn't much fun getting them all.
We just got back from dinner with Mike's parents. He had gone there to get bug spray for the dresser he made. I guess we still have some unwelcome buggies eating their way through the dresser. So he got the bug spray and an invite for spaghetti. A nice surprise today too.
Last night we had a nice dinner with my mom. Then Mom and I went to the movies. We saw Mama Mia. It was very funny. Mom and I going to the movies on a Tuesday night has always been a special thing for us. When I was in high school and home from college, we would go at least once a month or so. I really enjoy spending the time with my mom. I can only hope that my child/children and I will have a special bond like my mom and I do.
So, some really nice things going on here. We hope to have most of the paperwork sorted out and sent to the state within a week or so and then sent to Russia. Then we will see what we will have to update. I was also pleasantly surprised to see that my blog had an international "hit". That's great. I am not sure who might be reading this but I hope that it is helping someone. I'd love to hear back from some of you. Either leave a comment or you can email me at Khamele@sbcglobal.net I'd love to hear from other people who are going through similar circumstances. There is strength in numbers.
Russia
We went to Yekaterinburg
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Monday, July 28, 2008
Lonely Rain
It's raining here
Is it raining there
Can you hear the pitter patter
And the splish splash of the rain
Can you smell the sweetness
Of the freshly washed grass
It's raining here
Is it raining there
Does the rumble of the thunder
Frighten you from your sleep
Does the flash of the lightning
Sparkle brightly in your eyes
It's raining here
Is it raining there
Don't fret my little one
Someone loves you dear
Sleep tight my little one
Dream of me, as I think of you
It's raining here
Is it raining there
One day soon you'll see
I'll hold you, comfort you
One day soon you'll see
Together mommy and baby will be.
July 27, 2008
Melissa
Separation during the adoption process is not easy. But in the end, we will be together, one family. That is my promise to you. I only hope it will be before the new year comes. Until then, my sweet Colby, I will dream of you. Will you dream of me?
Is it raining there
Can you hear the pitter patter
And the splish splash of the rain
Can you smell the sweetness
Of the freshly washed grass
It's raining here
Is it raining there
Does the rumble of the thunder
Frighten you from your sleep
Does the flash of the lightning
Sparkle brightly in your eyes
It's raining here
Is it raining there
Don't fret my little one
Someone loves you dear
Sleep tight my little one
Dream of me, as I think of you
It's raining here
Is it raining there
One day soon you'll see
I'll hold you, comfort you
One day soon you'll see
Together mommy and baby will be.
July 27, 2008
Melissa
Separation during the adoption process is not easy. But in the end, we will be together, one family. That is my promise to you. I only hope it will be before the new year comes. Until then, my sweet Colby, I will dream of you. Will you dream of me?
A Month
It has been raining and storming a lot here lately. I guess the weather seems to reflect both mine and Mike's moods. It's been a rough couple days but I am not quite sure why. Why just the past couple days? Why so hard? I guess the simplest answer is, it has been a month since we came home. A month. It seems like forever but yet it seems like it went quickly. At least we can say a month has gone by so now we are a month closer. But how many more months need to go by? How much longer do we need to wait? While we wait, I turn toward my writing. It lets me get my thoughts and feelings out. The following is a poem that I wrote brought about by the rain. It was written to my baby boy, Colby.
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Rug Shopping
I am not sure why but it seems that whenever Mike and I are looking for something, we never seem to find it. Our newest journey has been shooping for a cute rug for Colby's room. We have all hardwood floors but we want an area rug to go in his room. We have decided on an animal/safari themed nursery and would love a rug to match. The rugs that go with the crib sets are all small. So we have been looking everywhere for a rug. Of course, before we actually tried looking for a rug, my mom and I saw some cute ones at BJ's, a wharehouse type store. Now that I brought Mike there, they are gone, except for the little girl rugs. That doesn't help. So, our luck on this adoption journey remains about the same. I guess we can chalk this adventure up to....that's just how everything has gone, why change now. I guess like everything else, I will plug on and get through this as well. We have awhile to find a rug anyway.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Passports and FBI Checks
Our mail has been coming verry late lately. We have a new mail lady and she seems to take her sweet time. We used to get the mail by about 1 or so. Now it is coming around 4 or even 5pm. I guess today, though, it was worth the wait. We have recived our new passports today so we can move forward with any paperwork requiring our passport ID numbers. Thankfully that mess has been cleared up. I am surprised at how quickly they did come, within about a week. However, we did not receive our FBI clearance check yet. I am told it can take about 3-4 weeks, the same amount of time to get new passports, however last time they came within a week. I guess we were lucky last time. We shall see if they come soon. We still need to wait to do the financial paperwork so I guess I'll be a little more patient. However, patience is wearing quite thin. So some good news anyway. YEAH!
Good News, Bad News, No News
Oh the duplicity of adoption. There are no good days or bad days. Every day has its bad and good moments. My thoughts and feelings jump from hope to despair and everywhere in between. Yesterday overall I guess was a good day. Our documents that we are waiting on all seem to be coming within the next week. We did receive our old passports back yesterday with a promise that the new ones are on their way. So we can update the passport ID numbers on the paperwork. We finished our medical 8 doctor paperwork mess yesterday but now need to visit with a psychologist as well. That was scheduled for Tues 7/29. Now we need verifications from the state for all the doctors. Those should be coming soon. I am waiting on the FBI check but hope to have it soon. Last time it only took them a week. So the paperwork trail is coming to a close for now. We know that much of the paperwork will need to be updated again. Why? I can't tell you. I have no answer. That is what Yekaterinburg wants so that is what they get.
One downside, we need to wait on the financial paperwork since I still have no job. I went for an interview with People's Bank. HOpefully that will turn out ok. We'll see. I don't hold out much hope. I fear that the work situation is helpless and thus the adoption is helpless and will never come to fruition. I hate to think that my old "boss" and a couple coworkers may be the reason that I don't get to bring my baby Colby home. That had better not be true. But, I must strive on and find that job. Colby is counting on me, Mike is counting on me, everyone is counting on me, and I hate to let people down.
As for the no news, I think that might be the hardest. My son is across the world, separate from Mike and me, and we have no idea what he is doing. Is he happy or sad? Did he get a hug and feel loved today? I know we were told that we will receive updates about him and some pictures but we have heard nothing yet. The unknown is what hurts the most. I can do something about the paperwork and the job but I can't change the fact that I am not there to watch my baby grow and play and just be himself.
One downside, we need to wait on the financial paperwork since I still have no job. I went for an interview with People's Bank. HOpefully that will turn out ok. We'll see. I don't hold out much hope. I fear that the work situation is helpless and thus the adoption is helpless and will never come to fruition. I hate to think that my old "boss" and a couple coworkers may be the reason that I don't get to bring my baby Colby home. That had better not be true. But, I must strive on and find that job. Colby is counting on me, Mike is counting on me, everyone is counting on me, and I hate to let people down.
As for the no news, I think that might be the hardest. My son is across the world, separate from Mike and me, and we have no idea what he is doing. Is he happy or sad? Did he get a hug and feel loved today? I know we were told that we will receive updates about him and some pictures but we have heard nothing yet. The unknown is what hurts the most. I can do something about the paperwork and the job but I can't change the fact that I am not there to watch my baby grow and play and just be himself.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
A Month Gone By, Feelings
It has been a month. 4 whole weeks since we first were in Russia and saw Colby for the very first time. At times it seems like yesterday and at other times, I wonder if we were really even there. A month ago we went from Yekaterinburg to Kamensk-Uralski to the baby home and met Tatiana, the baby home director. A month ago went to the baby home and first saw this blond haired, gray eyed little boy with the cute little smile and long skinny fingers. Those big gray eyes first looked at Mike and I in surprise but soon seemed to twinkle with delight as we played with him and brought him on the swing. I am not sure if I can say it was love at first sight. Perhaps yes, perhaps no. I do know that it seemed at the time to be a little surreal. This little boy will become my child, really? We will become a family? Is it really true? I still have a hard time believing in that concept. It still seems to good to be true. However, I now have a clear image of Colby in my head and I find myself thinking about him many times a day. Is it the same as a mother's love? I am not sure right now. But I know that it will be.
As for a month gone by, that is a good thing I guess. It at least brings us one month closer to going back. We finished our 8 doctor treasure hunt and are getting through the other paperwork. We are still waiting on the new passports and the second FBI check. We need to take more pictures of us and the house, including Colby's room. The crib is up, and has been since December. Mike has almost finished the dresser that he is building for Colby. We hope to have that in the room this weekend so we can take new pictures in there. We are still waiting on the mortgage and the car loan companies for those letters as well. Everything should be coming within a week so we should be able to hand most of it in soon. The paperwork with the new passport numbers will have to wait as will the financial statement. I want to wait on that until I find a job, hopefully within the next couple weeks. So, we are making progress but for me it is way too slow. Hopefully they are making progress in Russia as well. I have not heard from Svetlana yet. I hope we will get an update soon.
As for a month gone by, that is a good thing I guess. It at least brings us one month closer to going back. We finished our 8 doctor treasure hunt and are getting through the other paperwork. We are still waiting on the new passports and the second FBI check. We need to take more pictures of us and the house, including Colby's room. The crib is up, and has been since December. Mike has almost finished the dresser that he is building for Colby. We hope to have that in the room this weekend so we can take new pictures in there. We are still waiting on the mortgage and the car loan companies for those letters as well. Everything should be coming within a week so we should be able to hand most of it in soon. The paperwork with the new passport numbers will have to wait as will the financial statement. I want to wait on that until I find a job, hopefully within the next couple weeks. So, we are making progress but for me it is way too slow. Hopefully they are making progress in Russia as well. I have not heard from Svetlana yet. I hope we will get an update soon.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Getting Somewhere
Well, today Mike and I were able to get our signatures from the primary care doctor. Now I have only one signature left and Mike has 2 to get. Yeah! At least that is moving forward, all be it slowly. Now if only a new job would come along. I am not sure why that has been so ellusive for me. I understand that the economy isn't great right now but it seems like I can't get anything. I know my mom would call this my defetist attitude but I am not sure how I can change that view point. Everything needs to be more difficult, more complicated, and more ellusive for me than for others. I don't know why but it is. I can only hope that things will change and I will find that job, the paperwork will become complete, and we will return to Russia soon. I really miss Colby. It feels like my "home" has been torn into two pieces and one pice is half way around the world. Will I ever be whole again?
Friday, July 18, 2008
Getting Somewhere
5 doctors done for me and 4 for Mike. We are just over half way complete. I don't think I have ever had so many doctors' appointments in my life. At least we now know that we are healthy, nice people who have never been in trouble with the law or the government. We just recently received the next batch of paperwork requirements. I have already completed some of it. I hope to be all done with it, except for the papers that need our new passport ID numbers, within the next couple weeks. I am waiting on people to send us letters or apostille the completed papers. At least I feel like I am getting somewhere. Who knew that an adoption would require so much paperwork? The poor trees...
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Passports and Visas
I want to update all of you on the passport saga from yesterday. I wrote that we went to get new passports because they had gone through the wash. Well, we were told that the new passports will have a new ID number and the old ones will be destroyed not returned to us like usual. So now some of our paperwork needs to wait to be done when the passports come in about a month. We need the new ID number first. Also, when Mike and I returned from the post office, giving them our passports and registering for new ones, we received the email from Wide Horizons telling us what paperwork we need to do now. Well, as I was reading the pages of instructions, I noticed towards the end one small line. We need a copy of your Russian Visas from your last visit. I almost flipped out. The Visas is inside the passports. We just gave up our passports to be destroyed. I had to go back to the post office and tell them the story and ask for a copy of the passport Visas. Luckily we met very nice people at the post office and they have been extremely helpful. They talked with me for a little while and I showed them a picture of Colby. They still had the passports there, they were going to be sent out at 3 and it was about 2. Luckily I got a copy of both of our Visas. What a whirlwind day!
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
One Step Forward, One Step Back
This whole adoption process really is a test of will and patience. My will is running strong but my patience really is running thin. We are lucky that the medical paperwork is going fairly well. We had a setback with one doctor but that has, thus far, straightened out and the other doctors have been very helpful. They all look at the paper that we need them to sign and laugh and say it is riduculous. Everyone asks how we are handling all the running around. It is tiring but worth it. We certainly wish we didn't have to do it but if we must, we must. We will grin and bear it I guess you can say. Today we achieved our 4th signature, so we are half way there. YEAH!
On the negative side, I will warn everyone that is thinking of traveling abroad, DO NO WASH YOUR PASSPORTS. When Mike and I got home, we were very tired. The next day, still half asleep, I started the laundry. I should know better since Mike is almost always leaving something in his pockets, but I did not check his or my pockets. We washed our passports. They looked fine to both of us but we called the passport agency and they said that they were probably damaged and we need to get new ones. We can't just renew the passports that we have. We need to be issued brand new ones. Another 4 week wait. That wouldn't be too bad except that they charge us for new ones and much of the adoption paperwork has our passport ID numbers on it. Just great. Now I can't get all the paperwork done until I wait for our new passports to arrive. I just love government at work. Anything to get more money from us. So a good step forward but a dumb step back. I will work on the rest of the paperwork and whatever needs our passport numbers on it, will have to wait. I hate waiting. I just hope this doesn't set us too far behind. We still are looking at a Christmas time trip back to Russia.
On the negative side, I will warn everyone that is thinking of traveling abroad, DO NO WASH YOUR PASSPORTS. When Mike and I got home, we were very tired. The next day, still half asleep, I started the laundry. I should know better since Mike is almost always leaving something in his pockets, but I did not check his or my pockets. We washed our passports. They looked fine to both of us but we called the passport agency and they said that they were probably damaged and we need to get new ones. We can't just renew the passports that we have. We need to be issued brand new ones. Another 4 week wait. That wouldn't be too bad except that they charge us for new ones and much of the adoption paperwork has our passport ID numbers on it. Just great. Now I can't get all the paperwork done until I wait for our new passports to arrive. I just love government at work. Anything to get more money from us. So a good step forward but a dumb step back. I will work on the rest of the paperwork and whatever needs our passport numbers on it, will have to wait. I hate waiting. I just hope this doesn't set us too far behind. We still are looking at a Christmas time trip back to Russia.
Monday, July 14, 2008
Another Weekend Gone
It has been 3 weeks since we first met Colby. At times it seems like just yesterday and at other times it seems a lifetime ago. Is that possible? We are making some headway with the medical paperwork. Today we go back to the pulmonologist. Hopefully he will sign the papers for us. Then we will have 3 signatures out of 8.
The weekend was a good one. I spent Saturday with my mother. We went shopping at Babies R' Us. Two of my cousins are having babies. One lives in Oklahoma and his boy is due in a couple weeks. The other lives around here and she is due to deliver her child in early Sept. There is a baby shower set for her in August so my mom and I went to get her a present. She is decorating the room in all frogs. We bought the lamp and a few blankets for her and we bought a cute cowboy outfit to send to my other cousin. It is so cute. We also went to BJs, a wholesale club store around here. Mom bought the carseat that Mike and I want. She even found a cute outfit for Colby at Babies R' Us. Hoefully it will fit. It is hard to figure out what we will need for him. How big will he be? What will he be eating? Will he still want a bottle? So many questions...
I am quite happy for both of my cousins. It is great that they will have the family that they want. But, although I try not to, I also feel jealous I guess you can say. They will experience the birth of their children. I can't. They will experience their children's first day of life. I can't. But in the end, we will all have beautiful children to spend the rest of our lives with. What more precious gift is there, no matter how we get there. There are many ways to achieve parenthood, Mike and I are just on a different path.
The weekend was a good one. I spent Saturday with my mother. We went shopping at Babies R' Us. Two of my cousins are having babies. One lives in Oklahoma and his boy is due in a couple weeks. The other lives around here and she is due to deliver her child in early Sept. There is a baby shower set for her in August so my mom and I went to get her a present. She is decorating the room in all frogs. We bought the lamp and a few blankets for her and we bought a cute cowboy outfit to send to my other cousin. It is so cute. We also went to BJs, a wholesale club store around here. Mom bought the carseat that Mike and I want. She even found a cute outfit for Colby at Babies R' Us. Hoefully it will fit. It is hard to figure out what we will need for him. How big will he be? What will he be eating? Will he still want a bottle? So many questions...
I am quite happy for both of my cousins. It is great that they will have the family that they want. But, although I try not to, I also feel jealous I guess you can say. They will experience the birth of their children. I can't. They will experience their children's first day of life. I can't. But in the end, we will all have beautiful children to spend the rest of our lives with. What more precious gift is there, no matter how we get there. There are many ways to achieve parenthood, Mike and I are just on a different path.
Friday, July 11, 2008
Making Headway on Medical Papers
Today Mike and I went to see two more doctors for our medical paperwork-a pulmonologist and a pschyciatrist. You will all be happy to note that we breath ok and are not crazy. The psychiatrist signed our paperwork. YEAH! We need to return to the pulmonologist on Monday to see how our breathing tests came out and then he will sign the paperwork too. So by Monday, we should have 3 out of 8 of the necessary signatures. So I am feeling a little better today. Not quite so stuck.
We had dinner tonight with Mike's parents and his brother, David, and his wife, Jocelyn. It was a nice quiet dinner and and David and Jocelyn's house. Thank you both. It was the first time that we saw them since we have returned from Russia so of course I brought the pictures of Colby to show them. Jocelyn seems to agree with many people that Colby really looks alot like Mike. Well, if he does, that's ok, since Mike is a cutie. I loved showing the pictures of Colby. It helps bring me a little closer to him by reminding me of the time that we spent with him. Inevitably we end up telling stories about the things he did and the fun we had with him. I can't help but smile when I talk about him. So, today was a nice day. Tomorrow, I am off shopping with my mom for a baby shower gift for my cousin who will have her baby in Sept. We might also stop and get a carseat for Colby. We'll see.
We had dinner tonight with Mike's parents and his brother, David, and his wife, Jocelyn. It was a nice quiet dinner and and David and Jocelyn's house. Thank you both. It was the first time that we saw them since we have returned from Russia so of course I brought the pictures of Colby to show them. Jocelyn seems to agree with many people that Colby really looks alot like Mike. Well, if he does, that's ok, since Mike is a cutie. I loved showing the pictures of Colby. It helps bring me a little closer to him by reminding me of the time that we spent with him. Inevitably we end up telling stories about the things he did and the fun we had with him. I can't help but smile when I talk about him. So, today was a nice day. Tomorrow, I am off shopping with my mom for a baby shower gift for my cousin who will have her baby in Sept. We might also stop and get a carseat for Colby. We'll see.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
In Between and Stuck
Today I just feel stuck. Stuck counting days, but not sure what day I am counting down to. Stuck still with no job. Stuck inbetween being the mom I want to be and waiting to find out what paperwork we need to do. I am not sure how to get myself unstuck. I am unsure how to stop feeling so blah. It can't be easy for Mike to deal with me so emotional. I am sure he wants to get back to Colby just as much as I want to. We are so close but yet today I feel so distant from everything. Just blah.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Waiting and a Happy Note
Now that we are fairly caught up on our story, my posts will be about present day.
It has been 2 weeks since we first met Colby. Someone asked if we are adopting him from the town of Kamensk-Uralski. Yes, we are. The baby home there is great and we know that Colby is in good hands until we return to get him. HOwever, I hate knowing that he is there and I am here.
The first week or so wasn't to bad. I came home and began working on the medical information that the region requires. It is rather time consuming. I have also been working on the job situation. I am making better headway on the medical stuff than the job stuff. We have set up appointments for all the specialists, I just hope that they will all be helpful and sign the paperwork without too much hassle. As for the job, it still frustrates me. HOpefully that will come soon.
Mike and I did have a setback yesterday dealing with the doctors. Most of the specialists have been very helpful but one doctor is giving us a difficult time. I had a feeling that she might, so I don't know why I was so upset when we left her office. Just being there, thinking about what we need to get through, I was suddenly in tears. Why? I hate crying. I guess that my frustrations just needed to be expressed. I knew that Mike was upset too. I am trying not to get so worked up over this but I just needed to let it out. Writing this blog and reading other blogs has been helpful but a short lived cry never hurt, right?
I am not sure if anyone else has had this problem, but I just can't seem to fall asleep at night. Is this normal? Am I going crazy? My thoughts seem to go into overdrive around 11PM and sleep alludes me. Monday night I couldn't fall asleep at all so I ended up in our family room so I wouldn't disturb Mike. I wrote in my journal and kept staring at the pictures of Colby. Will I ever have a good night's sleep again? Perhaps the whole job frustration and the looming paperwork is the cause, perhaps having Colby so far away is the cause. I think it is both.
On a very happy note, CONGRATS to the Morgans. They have picked up their son from his baby home and they are now a united family. The pictures are so cute! CONGRATS!
It has been 2 weeks since we first met Colby. Someone asked if we are adopting him from the town of Kamensk-Uralski. Yes, we are. The baby home there is great and we know that Colby is in good hands until we return to get him. HOwever, I hate knowing that he is there and I am here.
The first week or so wasn't to bad. I came home and began working on the medical information that the region requires. It is rather time consuming. I have also been working on the job situation. I am making better headway on the medical stuff than the job stuff. We have set up appointments for all the specialists, I just hope that they will all be helpful and sign the paperwork without too much hassle. As for the job, it still frustrates me. HOpefully that will come soon.
Mike and I did have a setback yesterday dealing with the doctors. Most of the specialists have been very helpful but one doctor is giving us a difficult time. I had a feeling that she might, so I don't know why I was so upset when we left her office. Just being there, thinking about what we need to get through, I was suddenly in tears. Why? I hate crying. I guess that my frustrations just needed to be expressed. I knew that Mike was upset too. I am trying not to get so worked up over this but I just needed to let it out. Writing this blog and reading other blogs has been helpful but a short lived cry never hurt, right?
I am not sure if anyone else has had this problem, but I just can't seem to fall asleep at night. Is this normal? Am I going crazy? My thoughts seem to go into overdrive around 11PM and sleep alludes me. Monday night I couldn't fall asleep at all so I ended up in our family room so I wouldn't disturb Mike. I wrote in my journal and kept staring at the pictures of Colby. Will I ever have a good night's sleep again? Perhaps the whole job frustration and the looming paperwork is the cause, perhaps having Colby so far away is the cause. I think it is both.
On a very happy note, CONGRATS to the Morgans. They have picked up their son from his baby home and they are now a united family. The pictures are so cute! CONGRATS!
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Peace Through Writing
June 29th. I have always been better with the written word than the spoken word. I was looking through the internet and remembered that CM mentioned that she was writing a blog about her adoption journey. I found it and realized that by writing my own thoughts that I would be able to get some of my frustrations out and hopefully feel a little better about waiting for a court date that seems years away. Her blog is beautiful and reading it helps me realize that my thoughts, fears, and feelings are common and it is ok to feel the way I feel. That brings me some peace. Thank you CM.
Hopefully my blog will be read by others and perhaps it will help other people going through their adoption journeys. That is what a hope for. I have almost gotten my journey caught up to date. The next few posts will probably be about the paperwork and medical nightmare that we are up against. I can't believe what we need to do. It seems ridiculous but I suppose that it is necessary, according to Russia. I only hope that the doctors will be cooperative with all of this. We shall see.
The next few days I need to focus on two different things. 1) Setting up appointments with the 7 or 8 different specialists to sort out the medical paperwork. 2) Trying to find a job. The second has been very difficult. I am not sure if I want another teaching position. Perhaps. I am not sure what I want to do. I am great with computers and would be an asset to any company in an office. If there is anyone who has any thoughts about a job, please let me know. That and the medical information seem to be the next obstacles to overcome on our adoption journey. Luckily I have Mike to help me and give me his support, and I have Colby waiting at the end, a clear reminder of why I am putting myself through this emotional rollercoaster.
Hopefully my blog will be read by others and perhaps it will help other people going through their adoption journeys. That is what a hope for. I have almost gotten my journey caught up to date. The next few posts will probably be about the paperwork and medical nightmare that we are up against. I can't believe what we need to do. It seems ridiculous but I suppose that it is necessary, according to Russia. I only hope that the doctors will be cooperative with all of this. We shall see.
The next few days I need to focus on two different things. 1) Setting up appointments with the 7 or 8 different specialists to sort out the medical paperwork. 2) Trying to find a job. The second has been very difficult. I am not sure if I want another teaching position. Perhaps. I am not sure what I want to do. I am great with computers and would be an asset to any company in an office. If there is anyone who has any thoughts about a job, please let me know. That and the medical information seem to be the next obstacles to overcome on our adoption journey. Luckily I have Mike to help me and give me his support, and I have Colby waiting at the end, a clear reminder of why I am putting myself through this emotional rollercoaster.
The Return Home
June 27th. That was the day I left a piece of myself behind in Russia. It was the hardest moment thus far in my life. We had a 5AM flight to Frankfurt, Germany so we had to get up very early. I am not the best morning person so luckily my brain wasn't going crazy too early. I don't think it hit me until we took off in the airplane that we had to leave Colby behind as we went home. As we took off, my heart sank. How could I leave such a sweet baby boy in Russia while I go home? To do what? Paperwork? Just ducky...
We only had about a 4 hour layover in Frankfurt before we would take off for NYC, then our 2 hour drive home. As we waited in Frankfurt, I spent the time looking at the pictures of us with Colby as well as the video we had taken. Boy are we terrible at taking videos. But it certainly made us laugh. It will be great to watch as we wait to return. I remember a feeling of uncertainty yet amazement as we left for Russia, now I also had a feeling of uncertainty, but for different reasons. I wasn't sure when we would see Colby again. How would I be able to wait to go back? How would we get through the whole medical paperwork nightmare? How will my patience survive, since it was already getting stretched thin? So much unknown. The one thing I did know- Mike and I love Colby and we will survive and bring him home. I just hope it will be before Christmas, what a great Christmas that will be....
We only had about a 4 hour layover in Frankfurt before we would take off for NYC, then our 2 hour drive home. As we waited in Frankfurt, I spent the time looking at the pictures of us with Colby as well as the video we had taken. Boy are we terrible at taking videos. But it certainly made us laugh. It will be great to watch as we wait to return. I remember a feeling of uncertainty yet amazement as we left for Russia, now I also had a feeling of uncertainty, but for different reasons. I wasn't sure when we would see Colby again. How would I be able to wait to go back? How would we get through the whole medical paperwork nightmare? How will my patience survive, since it was already getting stretched thin? So much unknown. The one thing I did know- Mike and I love Colby and we will survive and bring him home. I just hope it will be before Christmas, what a great Christmas that will be....
Monday, July 7, 2008
Our Second Visit With Colby
Thursday June 26th. This was a day of mixed feelings. I was so happy to be visiting with Colby again but yet I knew it would be the last visit for a long time. We had been told that there would be about 6 months inbetween this first trip and the court date. I woke up excited yet sad. We went to the baby home in the morning and arrived right when Colby was waking up from a nap. I was a little nervous about seeing him again. I wasn't sure how he would react to both Mike and myself. However, the minute they brought him outside, I went up to him and held out my arms to hold him. He practically jumped into my arms. He remembered me! He even gave me a little smile showing off his top two teeth.
Once again Mike and I played with Colby outside. Someone brought out a blanket so we could sit on the floor and I took out a couple of his little toys. I guess that wasn't enough for him because he crawled right over to the backpack we had the toys in to find more. I'm not sure how he knew we had more toys in there, but he did. So we dumped the whole bag out and played for a little while. This time we made sure to take more pictures and a video. Around 12:00 a caretaker brought out his lunch. I am not sure exactly what he ate, but he loved it. Boy can he eat. Colby immediately grabbed hold of a small piece of bread and smashed it into his mouth and was soon choking. I was devastated. Our first time feeding our baby and we let him choke himself right away. Once we got him relaxed, Mike and I took turns feeding Colby and taking pictures and video.
At one point, Tatiana brought out one of the other caretakers. She had been Colby's caretaker when he first arrived at the baby home. However, he became so attached to her that he would cry and get upset if she tried to hold another child. So Tatiana had taken Colby out of that wing of the baby home and put him in a different section. This caretaker wanted to see Colby and us as well. She fed Colby for a little while too. After she left, he didn't want to eat much more so we played a little bit. Then his current caretaker came out. I guess she decided that he hadn't eaten enough so she fed him a little more. We took a few pictures of her with Colby. It was evident that she cared for Colby a great deal. I am glad that I saw that interaction. I know he will be well cared for while we wait to return to Russia. Then she left with the lunch tray and brought him a bottle of juice. He certainly loves his juice. Mike and I held him while he drank his juice. Colby can hold his bottle but he would lose his balance if he tried to drink it sitting on the floor, so we just held him. It felt great to hold my son and feed him. I couldn't believe I was actually doing it.
Soon Svetlana returned and asked how we were doing. I knew our time was almost up. I hated for it to end. Colby needed to be changed and it was time for his nap so we had to go inside. We talked with his caretaker for a little while and gave her a gift. We also left Colby's toys with her so he could share with the other boys, and we left a photo album for him to look at of us, our parents, the dog Misha, our house, and a couple pictures of us with him so he could remember who we are. We then said goodbye to Tatiana and gave her a gift as well as gifts for the other caretakers. As we walked away from the baby home and got in the car, I felt terrible. I hated to leave him. I knew I had to but I almost couldn't understand why. I knew that I would be leaving a pice of me behind. That night I was very quite as I tried to get ahold of my thoughts and feelings. I knew Mike was upset also. We felt just awful. At that moment, I wished that I could stay in Russia until it was time to take Colby home. But alas, the paperwork must be done and I still had a job to find so I knew I had to go home. We had an early dinner and went to bed around 8:30PM since we had to be up about 2:30AM to get ready for the airport. Our plane was leaving around 5AM. So we had a nice visit with Colby and hopefully the memories we made both on Tuesday and Thursday would keep us until we would return.
Once again Mike and I played with Colby outside. Someone brought out a blanket so we could sit on the floor and I took out a couple of his little toys. I guess that wasn't enough for him because he crawled right over to the backpack we had the toys in to find more. I'm not sure how he knew we had more toys in there, but he did. So we dumped the whole bag out and played for a little while. This time we made sure to take more pictures and a video. Around 12:00 a caretaker brought out his lunch. I am not sure exactly what he ate, but he loved it. Boy can he eat. Colby immediately grabbed hold of a small piece of bread and smashed it into his mouth and was soon choking. I was devastated. Our first time feeding our baby and we let him choke himself right away. Once we got him relaxed, Mike and I took turns feeding Colby and taking pictures and video.
At one point, Tatiana brought out one of the other caretakers. She had been Colby's caretaker when he first arrived at the baby home. However, he became so attached to her that he would cry and get upset if she tried to hold another child. So Tatiana had taken Colby out of that wing of the baby home and put him in a different section. This caretaker wanted to see Colby and us as well. She fed Colby for a little while too. After she left, he didn't want to eat much more so we played a little bit. Then his current caretaker came out. I guess she decided that he hadn't eaten enough so she fed him a little more. We took a few pictures of her with Colby. It was evident that she cared for Colby a great deal. I am glad that I saw that interaction. I know he will be well cared for while we wait to return to Russia. Then she left with the lunch tray and brought him a bottle of juice. He certainly loves his juice. Mike and I held him while he drank his juice. Colby can hold his bottle but he would lose his balance if he tried to drink it sitting on the floor, so we just held him. It felt great to hold my son and feed him. I couldn't believe I was actually doing it.
Soon Svetlana returned and asked how we were doing. I knew our time was almost up. I hated for it to end. Colby needed to be changed and it was time for his nap so we had to go inside. We talked with his caretaker for a little while and gave her a gift. We also left Colby's toys with her so he could share with the other boys, and we left a photo album for him to look at of us, our parents, the dog Misha, our house, and a couple pictures of us with him so he could remember who we are. We then said goodbye to Tatiana and gave her a gift as well as gifts for the other caretakers. As we walked away from the baby home and got in the car, I felt terrible. I hated to leave him. I knew I had to but I almost couldn't understand why. I knew that I would be leaving a pice of me behind. That night I was very quite as I tried to get ahold of my thoughts and feelings. I knew Mike was upset also. We felt just awful. At that moment, I wished that I could stay in Russia until it was time to take Colby home. But alas, the paperwork must be done and I still had a job to find so I knew I had to go home. We had an early dinner and went to bed around 8:30PM since we had to be up about 2:30AM to get ready for the airport. Our plane was leaving around 5AM. So we had a nice visit with Colby and hopefully the memories we made both on Tuesday and Thursday would keep us until we would return.
Life Experiences and Waiting
Wed, June 25th. This was a waiting day. We had seen Colby for the first time the day before but wouldn't be going for another visit until Thurs. I am not sure why we couldn't go on Wed as well but we couldn't. Mike and I woke up early as usual and had breakfast in the hotel. I wanted to make sure we saw the 4 couples that morning. 3 of them had their court dates later that day so I wanted to wish them well and get their email addresses. I hope that we will stay in touch. I enjoyed talking with them and learning about their adoption journeys. After breakfast, Mike and I went walking around the Yekaterinburg. We were able to find a small pharmacy type store and bought diapers. I even made Mike carry them back to the hotel. His first diaper purchase. I guess he better get used to buying them. We also were able to get our pictures developed from our first visit with Colby. I wanted to make sure we added pictures of us with him to the photo album I had brought for him.
Buying things in Russia has certainly been interesting. I know only a couple words, hello, goodbye, thank you, in Russian and often the people in the restraunts and stores know little or no English. However, with a lot of gesturing and writing numbers (thankfully written numbers all look the same) we were able to sort out what we wanted and how much it costs. When we bought the diapers, the lady in the store was very helpful. She tried to explain which ones to buy and wrote down the prices for us when we went to the register. When we went to leave, I said goodbye to her in Russian. Her face lit up in surprise and she started to smile and laugh. She started to speak in rapid Russian like she thought it was great that I said goodbye in Russian. It was a nice exchange.
Later that day, Svetlana picked Mike and I up and brought us to border between Asia and Europe. That is the picture of us at the top of the blog. Yekaterinburg is actually on the continent of Asia but the border is very close by. We took a lot of pictures of us standing on both continents at once. I can't imagine that many people can say that they have stood on two continents at once. It certainly was an amazing life experience.
That night, Mike and I went to see the ballet at the Ballet & Opera House in Yekaterinburg. It wasn't a full ballet performance however. They performed pieces of two different ballets by the same composer. Having taken dance lessons all my life, I love theatre and the ballet. It was another great experience. The only trouble was that it was so hot in the theatre it almost lulled both Mike and I to sleep.
So although we didn't get to see Colby today, it was a nice day. We enjoyed our experiences greatly but we were looking forward to seeing Colby again.
Buying things in Russia has certainly been interesting. I know only a couple words, hello, goodbye, thank you, in Russian and often the people in the restraunts and stores know little or no English. However, with a lot of gesturing and writing numbers (thankfully written numbers all look the same) we were able to sort out what we wanted and how much it costs. When we bought the diapers, the lady in the store was very helpful. She tried to explain which ones to buy and wrote down the prices for us when we went to the register. When we went to leave, I said goodbye to her in Russian. Her face lit up in surprise and she started to smile and laugh. She started to speak in rapid Russian like she thought it was great that I said goodbye in Russian. It was a nice exchange.
Later that day, Svetlana picked Mike and I up and brought us to border between Asia and Europe. That is the picture of us at the top of the blog. Yekaterinburg is actually on the continent of Asia but the border is very close by. We took a lot of pictures of us standing on both continents at once. I can't imagine that many people can say that they have stood on two continents at once. It certainly was an amazing life experience.
That night, Mike and I went to see the ballet at the Ballet & Opera House in Yekaterinburg. It wasn't a full ballet performance however. They performed pieces of two different ballets by the same composer. Having taken dance lessons all my life, I love theatre and the ballet. It was another great experience. The only trouble was that it was so hot in the theatre it almost lulled both Mike and I to sleep.
So although we didn't get to see Colby today, it was a nice day. We enjoyed our experiences greatly but we were looking forward to seeing Colby again.
Oh My Gosh! How Adorable!
Can there really be love at first sight? I wasn't sure until now, but now I know there is! We first met Colby on June 24th, a Tuesday, and I must say he is the most beautiful baby I have ever seen. Those big blue eyes and curly hair melted my heart right away. Mike and I were both very nervous about our first meeting. We had heard other stories about kids crying, screaming, or just sitting there with no expression. When the Director of the baby home brought out Colby, he looked like he had just woken up. We were told that they had just woken up and were fed lunch while we were talking over the medical information with the Director. The Director made sure he had a hat on and then went back inside. Our coordinator, Svetlana, stayed for a little while and then left to run a few errands. Mike and I were alone with Colby. We were a little surprised by that but I'm sure someone was checking on us now and then.
I held Colby first and all I could do was smother him in kisses and hugs. Looking at the pictures now, you can see from his expression in the early pictures that Colby wasn't sure what to think. I am sure that we all felt the same way. But it didn't take long for him to warm up to us and play with the toys we had brought for him. He loved going on the swing and the slide as well. I think Mike was also very nervous because we had been told that the children in the baby homes aren't used to men and that Colby might not want to go near him. That certainly wasn't the case. At one point Mike and I were passing Colby back and forth. One minute he would want me to hold him and then he would hold up his arms for Mike to hold him. It was very cute.
Our first visit seemed so short. I think it was about 3 hours but it seemed like 5 minutes. We had a nice time playing with Colby and taking pictures. We forgot to take some video so I wanted to make sure we took some on the next visit. We said goodbye to Colby and signed the paperwork to accept the referral. How could I say no to such a beautiful, loving child? Then we headed back on hour hour and a half drive back to the hotel. I was already looking forward to seeing Colby again. But we would have to wait until Thursday to come back. I wasn't sure what we would do on Wednesday but all I wanted was to go see my baby again.
I held Colby first and all I could do was smother him in kisses and hugs. Looking at the pictures now, you can see from his expression in the early pictures that Colby wasn't sure what to think. I am sure that we all felt the same way. But it didn't take long for him to warm up to us and play with the toys we had brought for him. He loved going on the swing and the slide as well. I think Mike was also very nervous because we had been told that the children in the baby homes aren't used to men and that Colby might not want to go near him. That certainly wasn't the case. At one point Mike and I were passing Colby back and forth. One minute he would want me to hold him and then he would hold up his arms for Mike to hold him. It was very cute.
Our first visit seemed so short. I think it was about 3 hours but it seemed like 5 minutes. We had a nice time playing with Colby and taking pictures. We forgot to take some video so I wanted to make sure we took some on the next visit. We said goodbye to Colby and signed the paperwork to accept the referral. How could I say no to such a beautiful, loving child? Then we headed back on hour hour and a half drive back to the hotel. I was already looking forward to seeing Colby again. But we would have to wait until Thursday to come back. I wasn't sure what we would do on Wednesday but all I wanted was to go see my baby again.
Sunday, July 6, 2008
First Trip, First Day
June 22, 2008. That was supposed to be a day of firsts. First trip to the Ministry to receive our official referral and first trip to see our child/children. We were given a tentative referral for twins and Svetlana had told us that they were a boy and a girl. We knew nothing else. I think it was the unknown that had kept me up most of the night. Either that, or the overwhelming anticipation of meeting our child for the first time. The emotions were overflowing. Mike and I had a rough night trying to sleep. Both of us were up almost every 2 hours or so, counting the moments to our visit to the Ministry. Finally around 6AM Mike had had enough and got up to take a shower. I read for a little while and then got up as well. No use fighting sleep, when sleep won't cooperate. We were ready and went down for breakfast around 7:30.
While eating breakfast, I noticed a group of 6 people who were speaking English. Face it, while in a foreign country, you can't help but eavesdrop on a conversation that you can actually understand. I overheard them talking about their upcoming court dates and when they would bring home their children. I later found out that there were 4 couples who were adopting children from Russia just like we were. They, however, were on their second trip and ready to bring home their children. 3 of the couples were going home while they waited the 10 day waiting period after court then they would come back. The other couple were staying until they would bring home their daughter. They were adopting an 8 year old girl. Later that afternoon we ran into the couples again and talked with them then. It was nice talking to other couples who knew what we were going through. One of the couples is actually from Trumbull. I really hope that we can stay in touch. They adopted a little boy who will be 2 in Aug. He is just a little older than Colby. All the couples decided to get together for dinner that night.
Svetlana got to our hotel around 10. She had called to say that our meeting at the Ministry wasn't until about 10:15, a little later than we had first thought. The Ministry is in an older building that, like many buildings in Yekaterinburg, is being remodelled. In the main lobby, we went through a metal detector and Svetlana showed her ID at the counter. A guard stood in the lobby. It all just added up to making me a little more nervous. We went in the elevator upstairs and waited outside the office. There were 2 other couples also waiting, and a couple came up after us. After waiting a little while, we entered the office.
It was a small office with 2 ladies sitting behind a desk. The one lady looked younger and had very dark hair. She had all the paperwork in front of her. Svetlana had told us what to expect when we got there, so we sat and listened for the most part. The dark haired lady read our referral from the paperwork in front of her. She told us we were referred for one boy, names Sergey. Svetlana translated everything for us, but then stopped. She wanted to know what happened with the twins. We were told that the twins had been referred to a couple once already who had a doctor look at them. There was some questions about the girl. She was having breathing problems and they suspected Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. So, we were given this referral instead. Very little medical information was known except that he was born prematurely but seeems healthy now. They showed us a computerized picture of him as an infant. We signed some paperwork tentatively accepting the referral so that we could go visit him in the baby home. Then we left.
When we got in the car, Svetlana tried to reach the baby home where Sergey was but the Director was on vacation until tomorrow. We would not be able to go see him until then. I was crushed. I was hoping, expecting, to see my child that day but yet I was told no, not until tomorrow. We went back to the hotel after Svetlana stopped to do an errand. Then we had the whole day to do "nothing". We walked around the city a little and took some pictures. That night we went to dinner with the other couples and enjoyed looking at the pictures of their children to be. We discussed our day with them and they wished us well on our first visit the next day. They talked about their first visits and overall it was a nice night.
That night, Mike and I discussed the day, both happy for the referral yet upset about the twins. I felt so sorry for those little babies but there wasn't anything we could do. I also felt a slight loss. We had come for two children but yet, we would only have one. It seems strange to admit that I felt a loss for something that I never had. Everyone had mentioned that the referral was just tentative but I guess I never let that word sink in. Twins would have been great, and getting a little girl would be too. Please, don't get me worng, my little boy is the most adorable, loveable thing and I am very lucky to have him coming into our lives, but for a moment, I felt that slight loss. Perhaps, I thought then, seeing my son the next day would alleviate some of that loss. Once again, I knew we would be in for a sleepless night. Will we ever have a full night's sleep again?
While eating breakfast, I noticed a group of 6 people who were speaking English. Face it, while in a foreign country, you can't help but eavesdrop on a conversation that you can actually understand. I overheard them talking about their upcoming court dates and when they would bring home their children. I later found out that there were 4 couples who were adopting children from Russia just like we were. They, however, were on their second trip and ready to bring home their children. 3 of the couples were going home while they waited the 10 day waiting period after court then they would come back. The other couple were staying until they would bring home their daughter. They were adopting an 8 year old girl. Later that afternoon we ran into the couples again and talked with them then. It was nice talking to other couples who knew what we were going through. One of the couples is actually from Trumbull. I really hope that we can stay in touch. They adopted a little boy who will be 2 in Aug. He is just a little older than Colby. All the couples decided to get together for dinner that night.
Svetlana got to our hotel around 10. She had called to say that our meeting at the Ministry wasn't until about 10:15, a little later than we had first thought. The Ministry is in an older building that, like many buildings in Yekaterinburg, is being remodelled. In the main lobby, we went through a metal detector and Svetlana showed her ID at the counter. A guard stood in the lobby. It all just added up to making me a little more nervous. We went in the elevator upstairs and waited outside the office. There were 2 other couples also waiting, and a couple came up after us. After waiting a little while, we entered the office.
It was a small office with 2 ladies sitting behind a desk. The one lady looked younger and had very dark hair. She had all the paperwork in front of her. Svetlana had told us what to expect when we got there, so we sat and listened for the most part. The dark haired lady read our referral from the paperwork in front of her. She told us we were referred for one boy, names Sergey. Svetlana translated everything for us, but then stopped. She wanted to know what happened with the twins. We were told that the twins had been referred to a couple once already who had a doctor look at them. There was some questions about the girl. She was having breathing problems and they suspected Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. So, we were given this referral instead. Very little medical information was known except that he was born prematurely but seeems healthy now. They showed us a computerized picture of him as an infant. We signed some paperwork tentatively accepting the referral so that we could go visit him in the baby home. Then we left.
When we got in the car, Svetlana tried to reach the baby home where Sergey was but the Director was on vacation until tomorrow. We would not be able to go see him until then. I was crushed. I was hoping, expecting, to see my child that day but yet I was told no, not until tomorrow. We went back to the hotel after Svetlana stopped to do an errand. Then we had the whole day to do "nothing". We walked around the city a little and took some pictures. That night we went to dinner with the other couples and enjoyed looking at the pictures of their children to be. We discussed our day with them and they wished us well on our first visit the next day. They talked about their first visits and overall it was a nice night.
That night, Mike and I discussed the day, both happy for the referral yet upset about the twins. I felt so sorry for those little babies but there wasn't anything we could do. I also felt a slight loss. We had come for two children but yet, we would only have one. It seems strange to admit that I felt a loss for something that I never had. Everyone had mentioned that the referral was just tentative but I guess I never let that word sink in. Twins would have been great, and getting a little girl would be too. Please, don't get me worng, my little boy is the most adorable, loveable thing and I am very lucky to have him coming into our lives, but for a moment, I felt that slight loss. Perhaps, I thought then, seeing my son the next day would alleviate some of that loss. Once again, I knew we would be in for a sleepless night. Will we ever have a full night's sleep again?
Thursday, July 3, 2008
And We're Off
Well, it eventually became June 20, 2008. Trip 1 was commensing. I couldn't believe it. Were we really going to Russia? What would it be like? Would anyone undertand us? How would we get anything to eat or drink? So many questions, I wasn't sure where to begin. So I did something very un-Melissa like. I let everything go, and went with the flow. No questioning, just do what needs to be done, do what our coordinator tells us to do. I had come to an amazing conclusion- I wasn't in control anymore and I could fight that and try to gain control, and most likely make things miserable, or I could just "go with it" and try to enjoy myself. I chose the later, and it worked!
Now Mike, he is usually very easygoing, just don't make him get on an airplane and wait. We left for JFK Airport around 3:00PM our time (that would be about 1:00AM on June 21st in Yekaterinburg). Everything was all set with our pets. Mom and Dad P. would take care of the mail and make sure Teaky, the cat, was feed and watered. Misha, the dog, was placed in a kennel for a couple days until she would then stay with Mom and Dad P. as well. Leaving Misha at the kennel was tough but I only wanted to think about what lay ahead of us. She'd be fine for the couple days. Then she would be spoiled rotten at their house. So, we were off.
Our plane was to leave about 9:30PM but we wanted to stay ahead of traffic in NYC and we planned to eat dinner at the airport. We didn't hit too much traffic on the way to the airport but the airport was very busy and our plane wasdelayed taking off. We boarded around 10:30 but we didn't finally take off until almost midnight (10:00AM Yek time on 6/21). Mike didn't mind too much about boarding late, but waiting at the gate due to traffic on the runway was getting him a little worked up. I was very greatful when we eventually took off. It was a nice smoot takeoff.
Luckily the delay didn't effect us too much in Frankfurt since we had an 8 hour layover but quite a few people had earlier flights and some missed them. I hope they all got where they were going. We had met a group of people from California heading to Vienna for a singing competition I believe. I know they had to rebook their flights. But for Mike and I, our 8 hour layover became about 6 hours. Even though we were tired, for us it was about 8AM but it was around 3 PM in Frankfurt, we decided to take the train into the city. We walked around for a couple hours enjoying the sights of the city. It happened to be culture day or something so we enjoyed a little bit of a parade, some dancing, and music. We wanted to get some "lunch" but we hadn't gotten any Euros at the airport so we couldn't buy anything. So we headed back to eat in a nice restaurant at the airport. We enjoyed our lunch looking out at the airplanes coming and going.
Our next flight was to take off around 8PM Frankfurt time (we were on about 1PM our time with very little sleep). This flight was only about 5 hours long and it would land around 4AM on 6/22 Yek time (for us about 6PM on 6/21). We were exhausted. Luckily no major catastrophes with either plane trip and we landed safely in Yek. But going through customs in Russia in a region where they speak very little English and with very little sleep is not much fun. We sorted out the paperwork and made it through. Then we waited for our coordinator to arrive. Her name is Svetlana. She was a little late because it was difficult getting around the city. The Russia soccer (or futbol) team had just finished playing their quarter-final match in the Euro Cup and they had won. They whole city was up and celebrating. Boy can Russian futbol fans celebrate. By the time we were leaving the airport though, it seemed everyone had gone inside and the city was fairly quiet.
Svetlana brought us to the Park Inn where we would be staying. We took showers and crashed for a few hours. I didn't want to sleep too long because I knew we wouldn't sleep much that night if we slept during the day. Around 11:30AM I suddenly woke up, unsure where I was. The heavy curtains were over the windows so it was fairly dark in the room. Eventually I got my bearings, remembered why I was where I was, and instantly had to wake Mike up. I am not so sure he enjoyed that, but I did it anyway. He finally woke up, and we decided to walk around the city. We exchanged some money for Rubbles and then we were off exploring. Unfortunately, we couldn't figure out where to find anything to eat though so we went back to the hotel. We decided to call Svetlana and soon she came by to bring us on a little tour. She was great. She brought us to the Chapel of the Blood, a gorgeous church errected about 5 years ago on the sight of the execution of Czar Nicholas and his royal family. We ended up at a small Russian restaurant for some dinner. Svetlana left and we walked back to our hotel.
The day(s) was certainly long. As I went to bed, I thought being as exhaustedas I was, that I would fall right to sleep. But I knew as I began to think about the next day, that sleep would probably ellude me. I just didn't realize then, just how much it would ellude me that night and many nights to come.
Now Mike, he is usually very easygoing, just don't make him get on an airplane and wait. We left for JFK Airport around 3:00PM our time (that would be about 1:00AM on June 21st in Yekaterinburg). Everything was all set with our pets. Mom and Dad P. would take care of the mail and make sure Teaky, the cat, was feed and watered. Misha, the dog, was placed in a kennel for a couple days until she would then stay with Mom and Dad P. as well. Leaving Misha at the kennel was tough but I only wanted to think about what lay ahead of us. She'd be fine for the couple days. Then she would be spoiled rotten at their house. So, we were off.
Our plane was to leave about 9:30PM but we wanted to stay ahead of traffic in NYC and we planned to eat dinner at the airport. We didn't hit too much traffic on the way to the airport but the airport was very busy and our plane wasdelayed taking off. We boarded around 10:30 but we didn't finally take off until almost midnight (10:00AM Yek time on 6/21). Mike didn't mind too much about boarding late, but waiting at the gate due to traffic on the runway was getting him a little worked up. I was very greatful when we eventually took off. It was a nice smoot takeoff.
Luckily the delay didn't effect us too much in Frankfurt since we had an 8 hour layover but quite a few people had earlier flights and some missed them. I hope they all got where they were going. We had met a group of people from California heading to Vienna for a singing competition I believe. I know they had to rebook their flights. But for Mike and I, our 8 hour layover became about 6 hours. Even though we were tired, for us it was about 8AM but it was around 3 PM in Frankfurt, we decided to take the train into the city. We walked around for a couple hours enjoying the sights of the city. It happened to be culture day or something so we enjoyed a little bit of a parade, some dancing, and music. We wanted to get some "lunch" but we hadn't gotten any Euros at the airport so we couldn't buy anything. So we headed back to eat in a nice restaurant at the airport. We enjoyed our lunch looking out at the airplanes coming and going.
Our next flight was to take off around 8PM Frankfurt time (we were on about 1PM our time with very little sleep). This flight was only about 5 hours long and it would land around 4AM on 6/22 Yek time (for us about 6PM on 6/21). We were exhausted. Luckily no major catastrophes with either plane trip and we landed safely in Yek. But going through customs in Russia in a region where they speak very little English and with very little sleep is not much fun. We sorted out the paperwork and made it through. Then we waited for our coordinator to arrive. Her name is Svetlana. She was a little late because it was difficult getting around the city. The Russia soccer (or futbol) team had just finished playing their quarter-final match in the Euro Cup and they had won. They whole city was up and celebrating. Boy can Russian futbol fans celebrate. By the time we were leaving the airport though, it seemed everyone had gone inside and the city was fairly quiet.
Svetlana brought us to the Park Inn where we would be staying. We took showers and crashed for a few hours. I didn't want to sleep too long because I knew we wouldn't sleep much that night if we slept during the day. Around 11:30AM I suddenly woke up, unsure where I was. The heavy curtains were over the windows so it was fairly dark in the room. Eventually I got my bearings, remembered why I was where I was, and instantly had to wake Mike up. I am not so sure he enjoyed that, but I did it anyway. He finally woke up, and we decided to walk around the city. We exchanged some money for Rubbles and then we were off exploring. Unfortunately, we couldn't figure out where to find anything to eat though so we went back to the hotel. We decided to call Svetlana and soon she came by to bring us on a little tour. She was great. She brought us to the Chapel of the Blood, a gorgeous church errected about 5 years ago on the sight of the execution of Czar Nicholas and his royal family. We ended up at a small Russian restaurant for some dinner. Svetlana left and we walked back to our hotel.
The day(s) was certainly long. As I went to bed, I thought being as exhaustedas I was, that I would fall right to sleep. But I knew as I began to think about the next day, that sleep would probably ellude me. I just didn't realize then, just how much it would ellude me that night and many nights to come.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Ellation and Nervousness
Soon Mike, who is much more patient than I am, was also getting "cranky" about waiting. Vica did say 2 weeks in early April, right? Well, the phone didn't ring until about 2 months. It was a Sunday. It was early evening. We were trying to cook dinner. It was June 8, 2008. Mike was grilling a steak, carrots, and potatoes for dinner when the phone rang. I was folding laundry. Such mundane, every day tasks. But, we were together. I had emailed Christine on Friday to let her know about my job situation. When the phone rang Mike looked at the caller I.D. and saw that it was Christine. He was immediately worried that she had read my email and he wasn't sure what her thoughts would be about it. My only thought was, "Oh my gosh! Mike! It's Monday there!". You need to remember that we were waiting for a referral from an area in Russia that is 10 hours ahead of us. I know that being dinner time here, it was only about 5 AM there, but my crazy brain was off and running, perhaps in hope. I'm not sure.
Well, it was Monday in Russia but the referral had actually come in to Christine on Friday June 6th. She had been out of the office and didn't receive the call. She received it on Sunday and immediately called us. I couldn't believe it. Finally, the referral was here. We were tentatively matched with 2 children. That was all we knew. This was a blind referral and we wouldn't be given any more information until we went to the Ministry in Yekaterinburg. We were to leave on June 20th. Yikes! That was only 12 days away. How could we possibly get ready, get our Visas, pack, and get plane tickets by then?
Luckily we had received the information for a great travel agency and they were extremely helpful. I had already spoken with Alex from the travel agency in March or April and had sent him our tentative information. Now that we had a set travel time, things really moved quickly. He was able to get us plane tickets, stopping in Frankfurt, Germany, and the whole Visa thing was sorted out too. No not the credit card Visa, a Visa that allows you to enter a country. It is a highly expensive paper placed inside your passport. I had never had to deal with Visas before, although I had a passport and I have traveled out of the country. Mike was completely knew to traveling outside the US, except for Puerto Rico and the Caribbean.
I am quite thankful that we had the travel agency to help us. It gave me the time to pack the camera bag, the carry-on snack bag, and the suitcases. Mike must have been extremely excited about finally going because he was all packed by the 16th, even with a very busy weekend. Waiting the last couple days became very difficult and I am not sure how much sleep either of us had. So many questions were churning in my head. Are we really going? Will the plane take off on time? What will we do with an 8 hour layover in Frankfurt? Do we have everything we need? How will it be going to the baby home? Will the baby/babies like us? What will happen? So many things to consider, and so many feelings chasing butterflies in my stomach. I was overwhelmed yet worried. How will that first meeting between Mike, myself, and our new baby/babies turn out? Will it really be love at first sight? Will I really be a mommy? Time would tell.....
Well, it was Monday in Russia but the referral had actually come in to Christine on Friday June 6th. She had been out of the office and didn't receive the call. She received it on Sunday and immediately called us. I couldn't believe it. Finally, the referral was here. We were tentatively matched with 2 children. That was all we knew. This was a blind referral and we wouldn't be given any more information until we went to the Ministry in Yekaterinburg. We were to leave on June 20th. Yikes! That was only 12 days away. How could we possibly get ready, get our Visas, pack, and get plane tickets by then?
Luckily we had received the information for a great travel agency and they were extremely helpful. I had already spoken with Alex from the travel agency in March or April and had sent him our tentative information. Now that we had a set travel time, things really moved quickly. He was able to get us plane tickets, stopping in Frankfurt, Germany, and the whole Visa thing was sorted out too. No not the credit card Visa, a Visa that allows you to enter a country. It is a highly expensive paper placed inside your passport. I had never had to deal with Visas before, although I had a passport and I have traveled out of the country. Mike was completely knew to traveling outside the US, except for Puerto Rico and the Caribbean.
I am quite thankful that we had the travel agency to help us. It gave me the time to pack the camera bag, the carry-on snack bag, and the suitcases. Mike must have been extremely excited about finally going because he was all packed by the 16th, even with a very busy weekend. Waiting the last couple days became very difficult and I am not sure how much sleep either of us had. So many questions were churning in my head. Are we really going? Will the plane take off on time? What will we do with an 8 hour layover in Frankfurt? Do we have everything we need? How will it be going to the baby home? Will the baby/babies like us? What will happen? So many things to consider, and so many feelings chasing butterflies in my stomach. I was overwhelmed yet worried. How will that first meeting between Mike, myself, and our new baby/babies turn out? Will it really be love at first sight? Will I really be a mommy? Time would tell.....
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Still Waiting
I had completed my 4 pound paperwork "baby", as I referred to it to many of my friends and family on March 5, 2008. I was ecstatic about having my end of the process complete, but now I had to learn to be patient as I waited for other people to do their job. As most of my family can attest to, I am not a patient waiter. On the contrary, I like to know when things will be done, who will be doing them, and what I can do to hurry up the process. Ok, you can say it, I do have a control problem. Luckily I had my job to keep me preoccupied through March and some of April. After that, things only got worse. Now I was waiting for someone to call about the adoption yet worrying that I would need to turn the referral down because I did not have a job anymore. I felt like is was riding on a runaway train of failure. I am not sure how I got through it, except for Mike's constant and unending love and support, as well as the support and love of my mother and other family members. March and April seemed like the longest months ever.
Around early-April, we finally got a phone call from Vica. Oh my gosh! Could this be it? Mike talked to her that day. I don't remember where I was but I do remember feeling almost jealous that he received the call and I didn't. It now seems awful to think that I felt that way, but I guess I always imagined both Mike and I home together, sharing that phone call together. Well, in the end, Vica was calling to let us know the region that our dossier was sent to in Russia. She also needed us to fill out one more piece of paperwork and she hoped to have our referral within a few weeks of that paper being completed. Mike and I signed the paper, I got it notarized and apostilled right away and it was off in about 2 days. Then we waited some more, still uncertain when we would receive "the call".
After we finished that paper, I let 2 weeks go by before I started to "bug" first Mike then Vica about the referral. Vica must have hated having me email her every week. I didn't know what else to do and emailing her helped to convince myself that I was doing something to push the referral along. Illogical thinking, but when you are waiting for a life-changing event, your thoughts don't always follow logical paths. Luckily I kept most of my thoughts to myself, although I shared many with Mike, otherwise everyone would think I was going crazy. Perhaps I was, but they did say we would have our referral very soon and April and then all of May went by without a call. Where was that call? Why did I have to suffer all this waiting time? Vica said about 2 weeks and then another month passed by without a call. My little patience that I did have was waining very thin.
In between waiting, I was also trying to find a job. However, I was very uncertain of what I wanted to do. Did I want to continue with the type of job I had before? Was it time for something new? Opening a book store would be the ultimate but the judge wants to see financial gains, not a financial disaster. Everything in my life was in such turmoil and I felt like I was loosing control. I hate that feeling. Where's the job that's right for me? Where's the phone call? Yikes, an interview! I hate interviews! Everything was a mess. My saving grace was the support from Mike, my family, and my few friends. But fixing the job situation was, and continues to be, my problem. No one can fix that for me. So I decided to work on that issue first and perhaps that would keep me busy enough to stop thinking about the pending referral call. Or so I thought. So the rollercoaster took a nose-dive and I needed to get myself back up. I think I am getting there. We are now on a steady, yet slow climb up.
Around early-April, we finally got a phone call from Vica. Oh my gosh! Could this be it? Mike talked to her that day. I don't remember where I was but I do remember feeling almost jealous that he received the call and I didn't. It now seems awful to think that I felt that way, but I guess I always imagined both Mike and I home together, sharing that phone call together. Well, in the end, Vica was calling to let us know the region that our dossier was sent to in Russia. She also needed us to fill out one more piece of paperwork and she hoped to have our referral within a few weeks of that paper being completed. Mike and I signed the paper, I got it notarized and apostilled right away and it was off in about 2 days. Then we waited some more, still uncertain when we would receive "the call".
After we finished that paper, I let 2 weeks go by before I started to "bug" first Mike then Vica about the referral. Vica must have hated having me email her every week. I didn't know what else to do and emailing her helped to convince myself that I was doing something to push the referral along. Illogical thinking, but when you are waiting for a life-changing event, your thoughts don't always follow logical paths. Luckily I kept most of my thoughts to myself, although I shared many with Mike, otherwise everyone would think I was going crazy. Perhaps I was, but they did say we would have our referral very soon and April and then all of May went by without a call. Where was that call? Why did I have to suffer all this waiting time? Vica said about 2 weeks and then another month passed by without a call. My little patience that I did have was waining very thin.
In between waiting, I was also trying to find a job. However, I was very uncertain of what I wanted to do. Did I want to continue with the type of job I had before? Was it time for something new? Opening a book store would be the ultimate but the judge wants to see financial gains, not a financial disaster. Everything in my life was in such turmoil and I felt like I was loosing control. I hate that feeling. Where's the job that's right for me? Where's the phone call? Yikes, an interview! I hate interviews! Everything was a mess. My saving grace was the support from Mike, my family, and my few friends. But fixing the job situation was, and continues to be, my problem. No one can fix that for me. So I decided to work on that issue first and perhaps that would keep me busy enough to stop thinking about the pending referral call. Or so I thought. So the rollercoaster took a nose-dive and I needed to get myself back up. I think I am getting there. We are now on a steady, yet slow climb up.
More Emotional Stress Than Necessary
Throughout this adoption process, I knew that my emotions would be going on a rollercoaster rides. There would be many ups and downs, highs and lows, related to paperwork, meetings, waiting for calls, seeing pictures perhaps, and a variety of other things. However, I didn't expect what would happen next as I waited for our referral call.
Sometime in December I had mentioned to my job that Mike and I were going through an adoption process and that the time frame was not quite clear. I wanted to give them a heads up that I would possibly need a maternity leave from my job towards early summer or late fall. It was uncertain at that time. At first the administrators were ok with this. However, I was told that I would not be receiving maternity leave, they have no such thing. Women who give birth go on a paid disibility leave. As an adoptive mother, I would be choosing to stay home to care for a family member and would as such go under Family Medical Leave Act. This leave of absence is not paid. Therefor I was being treated quite differently than a fellow coworker who was pregnant with her first child. I saw no difference between giving birth and choosing to adopt. Why should the laws? At that time, I did question the administration because I wanted some clarity to the situation. I understood but still did not think it was fair. I let it go, however fellow coworkers continued to discuss it and the administration did not look kindly on the situation. I understand that I cannot expect them to go against the law but this law certainly does not seem fair. What a mess I fell into!
To make matters worse, in March I had a misunderstanding with an administrator and was given a warning for yelling at a fellow coworker. I wonder who of you have never raised your voice to a fellow colleague. I wouldn't even call what I did yelling. Well, I guess a few people did not like what was occurring with my job and questioned my whole attitude and whether I could perform my job duties. I was again spoken to about my attitude. I was also put on a paid leave of absence while they "investigated" the accusations. What a joke. Everything I said to try to sort out the mess, I was told was wrong and they didn't believe me. Can someone tell me how you refute someone's "feelings" about your attitude? They didn't ever question how I did my job. It was all about how I talked to people and how I acted. Well, they did their investigation and in the end I chose to quit. Why fight for a job that you are no longer happy doing and where people don't seem to appreciate what you do? It wasn't worth it.
The only trouble- financial uncertainty could effect our adoption. The judge in Russia needs to see that we make a certain amount of money per year and with me not having a job, we were just below that mark. Now I need to find a job as soon as possible to make the court happy. But, where should I look for a job and what do I really want to do? That certainly is a great question. Hopefully it will get sorted out quickly so that our adoption will go through quickly as well. We want to be back in Russia before Christmas. I need a job now to sort out the financial paperwork right away. Wish me luck in this endevour.
Sometime in December I had mentioned to my job that Mike and I were going through an adoption process and that the time frame was not quite clear. I wanted to give them a heads up that I would possibly need a maternity leave from my job towards early summer or late fall. It was uncertain at that time. At first the administrators were ok with this. However, I was told that I would not be receiving maternity leave, they have no such thing. Women who give birth go on a paid disibility leave. As an adoptive mother, I would be choosing to stay home to care for a family member and would as such go under Family Medical Leave Act. This leave of absence is not paid. Therefor I was being treated quite differently than a fellow coworker who was pregnant with her first child. I saw no difference between giving birth and choosing to adopt. Why should the laws? At that time, I did question the administration because I wanted some clarity to the situation. I understood but still did not think it was fair. I let it go, however fellow coworkers continued to discuss it and the administration did not look kindly on the situation. I understand that I cannot expect them to go against the law but this law certainly does not seem fair. What a mess I fell into!
To make matters worse, in March I had a misunderstanding with an administrator and was given a warning for yelling at a fellow coworker. I wonder who of you have never raised your voice to a fellow colleague. I wouldn't even call what I did yelling. Well, I guess a few people did not like what was occurring with my job and questioned my whole attitude and whether I could perform my job duties. I was again spoken to about my attitude. I was also put on a paid leave of absence while they "investigated" the accusations. What a joke. Everything I said to try to sort out the mess, I was told was wrong and they didn't believe me. Can someone tell me how you refute someone's "feelings" about your attitude? They didn't ever question how I did my job. It was all about how I talked to people and how I acted. Well, they did their investigation and in the end I chose to quit. Why fight for a job that you are no longer happy doing and where people don't seem to appreciate what you do? It wasn't worth it.
The only trouble- financial uncertainty could effect our adoption. The judge in Russia needs to see that we make a certain amount of money per year and with me not having a job, we were just below that mark. Now I need to find a job as soon as possible to make the court happy. But, where should I look for a job and what do I really want to do? That certainly is a great question. Hopefully it will get sorted out quickly so that our adoption will go through quickly as well. We want to be back in Russia before Christmas. I need a job now to sort out the financial paperwork right away. Wish me luck in this endevour.
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