June 22, 2008. That was supposed to be a day of firsts. First trip to the Ministry to receive our official referral and first trip to see our child/children. We were given a tentative referral for twins and Svetlana had told us that they were a boy and a girl. We knew nothing else. I think it was the unknown that had kept me up most of the night. Either that, or the overwhelming anticipation of meeting our child for the first time. The emotions were overflowing. Mike and I had a rough night trying to sleep. Both of us were up almost every 2 hours or so, counting the moments to our visit to the Ministry. Finally around 6AM Mike had had enough and got up to take a shower. I read for a little while and then got up as well. No use fighting sleep, when sleep won't cooperate. We were ready and went down for breakfast around 7:30.
While eating breakfast, I noticed a group of 6 people who were speaking English. Face it, while in a foreign country, you can't help but eavesdrop on a conversation that you can actually understand. I overheard them talking about their upcoming court dates and when they would bring home their children. I later found out that there were 4 couples who were adopting children from Russia just like we were. They, however, were on their second trip and ready to bring home their children. 3 of the couples were going home while they waited the 10 day waiting period after court then they would come back. The other couple were staying until they would bring home their daughter. They were adopting an 8 year old girl. Later that afternoon we ran into the couples again and talked with them then. It was nice talking to other couples who knew what we were going through. One of the couples is actually from Trumbull. I really hope that we can stay in touch. They adopted a little boy who will be 2 in Aug. He is just a little older than Colby. All the couples decided to get together for dinner that night.
Svetlana got to our hotel around 10. She had called to say that our meeting at the Ministry wasn't until about 10:15, a little later than we had first thought. The Ministry is in an older building that, like many buildings in Yekaterinburg, is being remodelled. In the main lobby, we went through a metal detector and Svetlana showed her ID at the counter. A guard stood in the lobby. It all just added up to making me a little more nervous. We went in the elevator upstairs and waited outside the office. There were 2 other couples also waiting, and a couple came up after us. After waiting a little while, we entered the office.
It was a small office with 2 ladies sitting behind a desk. The one lady looked younger and had very dark hair. She had all the paperwork in front of her. Svetlana had told us what to expect when we got there, so we sat and listened for the most part. The dark haired lady read our referral from the paperwork in front of her. She told us we were referred for one boy, names Sergey. Svetlana translated everything for us, but then stopped. She wanted to know what happened with the twins. We were told that the twins had been referred to a couple once already who had a doctor look at them. There was some questions about the girl. She was having breathing problems and they suspected Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. So, we were given this referral instead. Very little medical information was known except that he was born prematurely but seeems healthy now. They showed us a computerized picture of him as an infant. We signed some paperwork tentatively accepting the referral so that we could go visit him in the baby home. Then we left.
When we got in the car, Svetlana tried to reach the baby home where Sergey was but the Director was on vacation until tomorrow. We would not be able to go see him until then. I was crushed. I was hoping, expecting, to see my child that day but yet I was told no, not until tomorrow. We went back to the hotel after Svetlana stopped to do an errand. Then we had the whole day to do "nothing". We walked around the city a little and took some pictures. That night we went to dinner with the other couples and enjoyed looking at the pictures of their children to be. We discussed our day with them and they wished us well on our first visit the next day. They talked about their first visits and overall it was a nice night.
That night, Mike and I discussed the day, both happy for the referral yet upset about the twins. I felt so sorry for those little babies but there wasn't anything we could do. I also felt a slight loss. We had come for two children but yet, we would only have one. It seems strange to admit that I felt a loss for something that I never had. Everyone had mentioned that the referral was just tentative but I guess I never let that word sink in. Twins would have been great, and getting a little girl would be too. Please, don't get me worng, my little boy is the most adorable, loveable thing and I am very lucky to have him coming into our lives, but for a moment, I felt that slight loss. Perhaps, I thought then, seeing my son the next day would alleviate some of that loss. Once again, I knew we would be in for a sleepless night. Will we ever have a full night's sleep again?
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