Girls Day Out

Yesterday I went with both moms (mine and Mike's) shopping for Colby. We went to Babies R Us to set up the baby registry and buy a few things. The agency is hopeful that Mike and I will go for court in late January. I really hope so as well but we will see. However, Mike and I wanted to feel a little better prepared so we wanted to buy some wipes, cups, etc. Also, the moms thought it might be a good time to buy some winter clothes. Everything was on sale or even clearance. We found some sweatpants for only $2 so we bought a bunch in both 18 months and 24 months. We also found a really cute sweater, shirt, and pants set. The sweater has a train on the front and Mike really likes trains. He used to help at the local train museum. Now I need to decide whether it will be his leaving the baby home outfit, going to the US Embassy outfit or the going home to the US outfit. So many special days to look forward to.

The day was really nice. I enjoyed spending the time with both moms. We went to eat at my favorite restraunt, Olive Garden, and then went shopping. It was nice to get out and get something for my little man. It made me feel a little closer to getting him. Now we just wait for the judge to call the agency and for them to call me. Ugh! I am so tired of this waiting. It would be much easier if I could just have a date for when we are going. The not knowing is the difficult part. Will we leave in 4 weels or will it be in May or June? That is a huge difference. I just wish I knew.

One Lousy Digit

With the excitement of Christmas and the feeling of overwhelming disbelief that we had last week, I did not know where to start with this story. However, now that I have regained some semblance of order (yeah, right), here goes the story. You can choose your reaction, laughter or tears or shock. I think Mike and I experienced all of those and then some.

We have been waiting for an email from our agency with an update on Colby. Svetlana was going to the baby home to take some pictures and get the update. I was so hoping to have it for Christmas but alas, no. However, we did get an email from the agnecy on Tues 12/23 at about 2 P.M..

Our 24 updated documents had been received by Lala in Moscow and translated. Svetlana brought them to the judge on Monday and he looked through them. He then asked for 2 more. 2 MORE!! I couldn't believe it. At Christmas! How was I going to get more documents done at Christmas. The first document needed was from my previous job. A letter stating my income from 2007 and 2008 until I left. Of course, I used to teach so how was I going to get the superintendent's office this late in the day and before they left for break? Ugh! Luckily when I called, they were still there and the secretary was able to get it done. She was hoping to get it in the mail that day. I was just hoping to get it by Mon or Tues 12/29 or 12/30. So that wasn't too bad I guess.

The second document the judge requested completely floored me. It seems that when the Mayor's office wrote a letter for us confirming our ownership of and residence in our house (they have written this letter for us twice now), whoever wrote it had a typo. The letter also needed to state our birthdays and passport numbers. Well, on this second letter, they typed Mike's birthday as October 10, not October 11. I never caught the mistake, and no one else did either. The judge did though. It was somewhat ironic because Mike and I had just had a discussion about whether or not the judge actually reads all of our paperwork. Mike didn't think so. I guess he was proven wrong. So because of the one lousy digit typo, we needed to bother the Mayor's office again and ask for another complete document. I was sure they wouldn't be in.

Mike was out when I read the email. I tried to call him on his cell and the phone rang in our kitchen. I was so exasperated that I thought I would cry just because the phone was here. I called his parents though and got him. He raced home to read the email and immediately called the Mayor's office. Surprisingly, they were in for another hour or so but the road were terrible and the traffic so bad that we probably wouldn't make it. He asked them if they would be in the next day, Christmas Eve and she surprisingly said yes. So we spent Christmas Eve morning at the Mayor's office to get the new document. I must say that through all of this, the Mayor's office has been quite helpful. It isn't even their job to write such a letter. I'm not sure who's it would be. But they were the only office that would do it for us. They better have gotten something special from Santa this year as a thank you.

So, we were able to get the one document from the Mayor's office on Christmas Eve morning and more surprisingly the second document showed up in our mail that day as well. I will never understand the postal system. It came overnight in the regular mail. Yeah! So on Friday I trekked up to Hartford to get both apostilled and I sent them on their way to the agency. They should have them on Monday morning. You can't imagine how we both felt reading that email, devestated to have to get more documents and worried that we couldn't get them. I am completely shocked at how everything fell into place and we were able to get the documents.

So another "bump" in our adoption road but we keep going. Perhaps that update will be here tomorrow. We shall see.

Merry Christmas

My Sweet Boy,

Merry Christmas my little one. Although we are far apart this Christmas, you are always close to my heart. I hope you had a wonderful day today. Know that your family thought of you often and you were definitely missed. We will be together soon and next Christmas will be the best Christmas ever.

Love,
Mommy

Traditions....Cookies

Well, the latest word is that Svetlana is handing our paperwork to the judge this week (hopefully it was today). Everything is in order and has been translated. YEAH! I can only hope that Colby's paperwork is in order as well and that the judge looks at it all quickly. Perhaps our late January court trip might happen, but I am still highly skeptical about that. We jsut need to wait and see I guess.

Ok, so my last post discussed traditions. I am not sure how I got on such a long post about Poppy. I guess I had been thinking about him lately. I had hoped that he would be here to see my first child. However, I am quite lucky that I still have Mamie and that Colby will see her. So, more Christmas traditions....

The tradition that stands out the most with me when I think of Christmas revolves around my mom. Every Christmas we would make Christmas cookies together while we listened to Christmas music. It was a day long activity. We would make at least 3 different batches of what we call Spritz cookies. They are similar to a sugar cookie but after you mix the batter you put it is a cookie "gun" and shoot it out in different shapes. The gun has different designs and the cookies can be in the shape of trees, bells, ornaments, and pointsettas. Then we would decorate them with sprinkles and red hots for the holly and the star on the tree. We had a lot of fun coloring, flavoring, and decorating those cookies. But mostly I remember spending the time with my mom and just talking and laughing. Mom and I have a very special, close relationship. She is my best friend and spening time with her was always a lot of fun.

Well, we might have lost sight of our special tradition when I went away to college and then got married but we still spend time together. I am very lucky to live not too far from her so we can see eachother a lot. This Christmas I had my mom and my Aunt Lorna (Aunt Doone to me) come over to my house and make those Christmas cookies. We made 2 different batches of Spritz cookies, mint trees and raspberrry pointsettas. We also made holly cookies out of corn flakes and marshmallows, candy cane cookies (which you need to roll the dough into red and white ropes and twist them into candy canes), and we made my Italian cookies. In college I was given a recipe for Italian cookies with Anise flavoring and I now make them every Christmas. My family loves them. The three of us had a great day making the cookies, talking, and laughing. So, although the tradition may have changed a little, it still holds strong. I am so lucky to have a family that I am close too. I love them so much.

Traditions....Poppy

Christmas has always been a very special time of year for my family. Coming from a big family, celebrating Christmas meant spending time with a lot of people. I can't remember a Christmas that I have ever spent with less than 20 people. And today is no different. In the number sense anyway.

We always went to my grnadparents house for Christmas. Mamie and Poppy. They are my mom's parents. My mom is one of 5 children and my grandparents now have 19 grandchildren (about half of whom are married) and 12 great-grandchildren. Needless to say, it creates a huge family gathering. And we love it. Everyone brings a side dish or dessert. My Aunt Linda always makes the apple pie and Christmas tree bread. Poppy always made the ham or turkey with mashed potatoes and stuffing. We eat dinner and enjoy eachother's company then it is time for presents. Lots of presents. Music and laughter abounded through out the house. This tradition hasn't changed, much I guess. However, I feel a major part of it is missing. Poppy. We lost Poppy 2 years ago at THanksgiving to cancer. When we did, we lost a huge part of our family. We lost our Santa Clause.

Poppy IS Christmas. He IS Santa Clause. Poppy is the most caring, giving person I have ever met, or ever will meet. For many years, Poppy organized a Christmas party for underpriviledged children and their families. He oped up his home to these families, gave them a Christmas dinner and presents. He would hitch up his horses and give sleigh rides. One year we even had reindeer. And of course, Santa Clause always came to hand out the presents. What more could there be to the true meaning of Christmas?

We no longer have those parties, but luckily our big family is still together. Of course there have been difficult times and we might not always get along but we are family. We belong together. And what better way to celebrate Christmas and the memory of Poppy than to celebrate our holidays together, as family?

Waiting...Again and Jobs

Well, Mike and I were able to get all of the paperwork completed. Our deadline was 12/12 and the agency had it all on 12/10. We did have to go back and get another marriage certificate but even that was at the agency on 12/12. I was quite pleased with getting that all done. But, when I am given a deadline, I do everything and anything that I can to meet or exceed that deadline. Now we wait some more.....

Vica had mentioned that we might get an update soon. But we haven't heard anything yet. I'd like to email her and ask her when we might hear something but then again I don't want to bug Svetlana to get an update if she is trying to sort through our paperwork for the judge. We were told that we might go for court in late January. That is a slight possibility but everything would have to be perfect for us to go then. I think it will probably be later, like March. I hope not though. In the mean time, I am updating the medical paperwork because I know that the 8 medical doctor form will expire in February. Ugh! I hate chasing doctors for signatures.

Other than that, I am debating on what to do next on the job front. Lifetouch has now stopped taking school portraits until about March or so. Therefor I am not currently employed. I don't trully want to, but I guess I will sign up to substitute teach. That's a daily pay but in this city, I am almost guaranteed to work every day. I'm not sure if I want to go back into the classroom after last year but I don't know what else I can do. Most jobs, I am told I have too much education for or not the right experience. It sucks. I'd love to try something new, but I don't know what.

So, that is the update for now...as much as it is. Hopefully we will hear more soon. Keep your fingers crossed for us.

Well....almost

Today I received an email from Vica. The agency received our paperwork today. Yeah! However, I need to get them a new marriage license. Both notarized and apostilled. Ugh!

Not thinking much about it...when we got the list of documents to update I saw the marriage license was one of them. I had a couple extra notarized copies hanging around so I sent that one in. I guess I had them for awhile since the date it was issued was October 2007. That is when we started getting some preliminary paperwork for the agency. However, the marriage license is only good for a year. It has expired so Mike had to go get another one. Not too big of a deal. He was able to get it fairly quickly this afternoon. Now I have to bring it to Hartford in the morning to get apostilled and send it up to Mass for Friday. So, a little glitch today I guess but Vica wrote that she was sending the rest of the papers to Lala in Moscow to be translated. So the marriage license will catch up to it I guess. A small bump in the road but nothing too major.

On another note, Vica did mention that the judge will probably ask for the medical documents to be updated right before we travel. I had asked her about it because I don't have another set of medical papers. I would have to go around to the 8 doctors to get them to sign another set for both Mike and me. So, that is what I started doing today. I picked a great day to have to drive to various doctors' offices. It was pouring/raining on and off all day. I drove home in a downpour. I hate driving in the rain. I called all the doctors first and got a couple answers. Some of the doctors weren't in. I have to call back tomorrow or next week. I was able to get 2 of the doctors to sign the papers and 1 of them (the psychiatrist) Mike and I need to go see again before she will sign it. We have an appointment for New Year's Eve morning. Ugh! I was hoping not to have to actually see the doctors again but I guess we will have to see at least the one. So, although our updates are complete, I am now working on the next round of updates. Oh so much fun.......

A Modest YEAH!

I can't believe that my work, tears, and arguments have actually culmunated in the paperwork getting completed. Yup! It is done. The 24 documents have been signed, notarized, apostilled, and copied. They are going to FedEx right now to the agency. They'll have it tomorrow morning. Our deadline was 12/12 and they will get the paperwork on 12/10. YEAH! One big step forward.

We will now wait and see what happens. The agency and the coordinators in Russia are still trying to get our court date in late January. However, before we can go: our documents need to go to Moscow to get translated, then they need to go to the judge and he needs to review them, the judge needs to get all of Colby's documents from however is collecting them, everything needs to be up to date and organized, and it all needs to happen before the judge goes on his vacation in late January. Ugh! I'm not sure Mike nor I have had that much good luck ever. But, we will keep our fingers crossed, try to update a few more papers that I'm sure he will ask for, and just hope. I am not going to get my hopes up too high though. Everything has been such a struggle that I am sure we won't go until almost March. I don't want to be disappointed. If we go in January, that will be a big surprise. So, keep your fingers crossed for us and we will continue to WAIT and SEE!

Getting There....With Paperwork

Well, I can't believe how long it can take to update just a few documents. I realize we were given a list of 24 documents that the judge wants, but that was about 3 weeks ago. I still haven't collected them all. Last week was torture trying to get a couple of them. On Wednesday I called Ohio to see if they had sent my mortgage letter back apostilled. It seems that they LOST my document and were looking for it. However, I did receive our FBI background checks and the letters from Mass back. The car loan document came back from Nebraska as well. However, they DID NOT apostille it. It seems that whoever notarized the document doesn't know how to do her job and notarized it incorrectly so the Secretary of State's office refused to apostille it. The document was thus worthless. I called the Sec of State's office for explanation and got no where. They suggested I call Ford for a new document. After about 30 min on hold and bounced from one person to another, I was at wits end. I was then transfered to a nice guy in Florida who helped me. He said he would be able to write the letter and get it notarized correctly from Florida. I asked that he overnight it, and he said he would have to check with his supervisor. So, that was Wed.

On Thursday, I called Ford in Florida and they said the document was just noratirzed and put in UPS overnight. Thank goodness. That was happy news. Unfortunately, Ohio was not with our mortgage letter. When I called them, I was transfered to the administrator in charge of that area. It seems, whoever signed for the document on Tues decided to put it into the business office's mail, and they get a lot of mail. It was "misplaced" so she said. I told her she LOST it and asked what she thought I should do. She suggested I call Chase for a new mortgage letter. I said no becuase I had already spent $60 to get this one and FedEx it first to Franklin county for a county verification and then FedEx from there across town to the Sec of State's office, along with the two different fees. Besides, she would probably lose that one too. She had nothing else to say. I told her she better find my document because she had just ruined my Christmas and I not so nicely hung up on her. I was devistated. She called back about 10 minutes letter saying that she had sent 3-4 more people to search for the document and they had miraculously found it. Surprise, surprise. So, I finally got that document back on Friday. She is so lucky.

To update, right now I have 19 documents coming to me from Hartford, which should be all set, apostille and everything. The 2 Mass documents and the mortgage letter apostilled in Ohio are all done and copied. We are waiting on Florida to apostille the letter from Ford. That might be the document which holds us up. I have to call them and beg them to apostille it right away. The website says that it can take up to 5 business days. That would bring us past our Fri 12/12 deadline for the adoption agency. The last document, the letter verifying our CPA's license came on Friday. I will bring it to Hartford tomorrow to get apostilled and that will be all set. I am only worrying about this letter from Ford. I hope that they understand and apostille it right away. Even if they send it to me tomorrow, I will get it on Tues and the agency will get everything on Wed. I guess we need to wait and see, phone and beg someone for there understanding. Keep your fingers crossed......

Papers! Papers! Everywhere!

Well, we are making some headway on the updated paperwork trail. Of the 24 documents that the judge requested, I have 20 complete to the notary stage. Today I sent some of them off to be apostilled. An apostille is a state signature and stamp, from the secretary of state, that is necessary for all international documents. It simply guarantees that the notary who signed the document is a licensed notary for that specific state. Now comes the tricky part. Some of the documents have been notarized in different states. The verification of our social workers' licenses came from Mass, since our agency is headquartered in Mass. So today I sent those two papers to be apostilled in Mass. Our car loan document was signed and notarized in Nebraska so that was sent back to Nebraska today for an apostille. Our mortgage loan document signed in Ohio was shipped out last week to Ohio for apostille but was sent back. It seems that Ohio requires first a county verification on the notary and then the apostille. So that was sent out to Franklin County Court on Fri. From there they have the FedEx slip to send it to the Secretary of State (in the same town no less). Then they will send it back to me. What a mess. I have too many FedEx tracking numbers...Now I have lost track of which tracking number is which! Ugh!

Anyway, once I have the FBI background checks back and the letter from the CPA, I will send the remaining letters to Hartford for apostille. Then we will only be waiting for the state to verify the CPA's license. Not sure why but I can't have the state verify his license before I have his letter. His letter needs to be dated before the state's letter. What a mess. We are hoping to have everything done and sent to the agency next week. They asked for it by the 12th. Hopefully all the apostilles will not hold us up. Keep your fingers crossed for us!

The Song "Home"

Thanks to a little help from Kim, I was able to add in the playlist to my blog. The first song I added is "Home" sung by Blake Shelton. Some might have heard it sung by Josh Groban I believe. The song doesn't completely "fit" in this whole adoption voyage but it does have a special meaning to me.

After many hours on 2 different planes, seeing 3 different countries and continents, and after I think about 22 hours, Mike and I finally landed at JFK airport in New York. We were exhuasted but we still had a 2 to 2 1/2 hour car ride to get back home. Once we got settled and were waiting in traffic (oh joy, welcome in NYC!) this song is the first one that I heard on the radio. It almost sent me into tears. Here I was going home, after an airplane ride, yet I did feel alone. I began to question where my home now was. Home hasn't seemed like home since that day. Am I home or is my home in Russia? I feel torn apart. This song will always be close to my heart. I have bought the CD and when I feel sad, or just need a moment, I like to listen to it and I feel a little better. It helps me to connect with Colby while he is so far away. A little sappy, huh? I'm not sure if you all can relate, or can understand, but even still, the song is just beautiful so listen to it and enjoy!

Yuck! Paperwork!

Well, Mike and I are trying to weed throught eh list of 24 documents that the judge wants us to update. Right now, we have 8 of them done to the notarized stage. We are currently waiting on: the psychologist to write his letter (supposedly in the mail!) so that I can then call the state to ask them to verify his license, the accountant to write the list of our assets and liabilities so that I can then ask the state to verify his license, the state to send the verifications of the doctors' licenses, the FBI criminal check #3, Mass to verify our social worker's license, and I'm not sure what else. Most of it is waiting on various government agencies which will be a bit of a wait since no one wants to work this week with Thanksgiving on Thursday. Once we ahve all the documents, then I need to send them to Hartford to get the state apostilles placed on them. That's another weeks wait. This can drag on forever...... Needless to say, the judge won't have our documents until almost Christmas since they need to be translated in Moscow first. Then the judge will be coming here for a short vacation. He will also be visiting with our agency. Maybe they can convince him to speed up this process.... Doubtful...

So we are making progress, but certainly not as quickly as I'd like. Slow and steady better win this race, and win it quickly.

Some News and Updates

Mike and I received an email from the agency yesterday. I guess the judge has looked at our paperwork because we now have the list of updates that he wants. We are now working on a list of about 25 more papers to chase after, get signed and notarized, and then get apostilled. Of course, some need to be completed before others so dates need to be a certain way. We need to update all of the medical paperwork and most of our financial paperwork as well. Not only do we need the doctors to sign more paperwork, but then we need to contact the state and certify their licenses' again. It is all paperwork that we have already done, and there is really no reason to update it because nothing has changed but that is what the judge and court wants so that is what we will do. Luckily I have a couple days off next week to chase after signatures.

So some good news I guess. I large step in the right direction. Another step closer to Colby. However, we still have no news or updates on his progress and how he is doing. Perhaps soon. The agency is looking into getting an update but Svetlana, the coordinator in Yekaterinburg, is working with another family on their second trip. They have their court date tomorrow! YEAH! I am thrilled for them. They have waited a long time.

More Waiting

Well, here we are now in the middle of November with Thanksgiving only a couple weeks away. In some ways, the year has gone by so fast and in others it seems to have taken forever. Was it really 5 months ago that we first saw Colby? It seems like only yesterday but yet it also seems like it happened ages ago. So much has happened that my head is still spinning and I can't find a quiet place to rest.

We still have no word from the Russian courts. I'm not even sure if the judge has looked at our paperwork yet. Probably not. Vica and Kim have no updates to give us either. I'd love to get a photo or at least a note telling me how Colby is doing. That would make this holiday a little more bearable. I'm just not sure how I'll get through the holidays knowing that Colby is not with us and is still in that orphange. That is not the place for any child to "celebrate" the holidays. I just want to hold him again and tell him how much he is loved. So many people are waiting for him to come home, especially his mommy and daddy.

In other news, Mamie is now in a nursing/rehab home. She was in the hospital a week and now expects to be in the home for about 3 weeks. She will come home for Thanksgiving though. That is good news. Thanksgiving without her and Poppy would be too much to bear. I'm not sure if she will stay home or what will happen after that. She seems so unsteady and she can't be alone. My once strong Mamie now seems so so little. It is a hard thing to see. I just hope that she will still be around to see Colby come home.

Well, I guess that is all the news, or lack there of. I hope to hear something soon.

A Dreary Week

What dreary weather we have had this week. It has been raining off and on most of the week. Hopefully it is supposed to stop and tomorrow should be nice but chilly. I guess fall is certainly here. The storms have taken most of the leaves out of the trees so tomorrow will be leaf racking day. Misha certainly makes this chore fun. She runs after the rake and dances in the leaves. It is rather cute watching an 80 pound black lab "dance" in falling leaves.

To go with the dreary weather, my family has had a set back this week as well. Wednesday my mom called to let me know that Mamie (her mom, my grandmother) was back in the hospital. They weren't sure what was wrong. Now we know. She has congestive heart failure. I went and visited her a few times this week. Tomorrow I think the hospital is deciding what to do. They have talked about sending her to a convelesant home but my mom and her siblings don't want that. I am not sure what would be better for her. I know that living alone at the farm isn't the answer though. I guess we will see tomorrow what everyone decides. I only hope that Mamie still has the strength to fight this and that she will still be around to see Colby come home.

On that front, we still ahve no updates on Colby. We know that most couples are waiting about 10 months or more inbetween trips. I guess we need to just sit and wait in limbo for the court to get its act in gear and get us back there. I just wish I knew what was going on. The unknown is the hardest part. That, and not having the power to help resolve the problems. Ugh.... So we still wait. And wait. And wait....

Many Thank Yous

I just wanted to take a moment to thank everyone for reading this blog and for all of the warm thoughts and many comments that I have received. It has been a very difficult week this week and knowing that there are other families there that have gone through, or are going through, similar circumstances is reassuring. It has always been difficult for me to express my feelings outloud. Through writing I am able to share my thoughts and feelings, good and bad. I only hope that by doing so on my blog that I might help other families as they go through their adoption journey. In numbers, there is strength. Knowing that I have the support of others will get Mike and I through this terrible wait until we see our Colby again.

A Yucky Week

This hasn't been the greatest of weeks, I must confess. Luckily it is almost over. Tuesday I took the day off from work so that I would be home for 1:00 for a teleconference from our agency. The agency wanted to get the couples together who are waiting to return to Yekaterinburg for their court dates and to bring home their children. Mike and I knew it would probably not be a grat phone call and we were right. The government agency that was taking care of the adoption court paperwork, the Ministry of Education I think, is no longer doing that. A different government agency is now in control and the paperwork is not being processed as quickly. Some of the paperwork is expiring before it can all be collected and turned in so they are having to redo much of it. This means that although referrals are coming somewhat quickly, the return trips and court dates are not. We were told to be ready for a wait of about 9-12 months inbetween both trips. So, our court date will not be until at least March, probably later. I am devestated. Don't they realize how terrible this wait is? Don't they realize how much more difficult the transition will be the longer the child waits in the orphanage? Unfortunately, I guess paperwork is more important than getting children to their families....

So, in the end, the holidays will not be good this year, I probably will be miserable, and there is nothing I or anyone else can do to quicken this process. We just have to wait. And wait. And wait.
YUCK!

More Family Birthdays

Yesterday was another bust Saturday. Mike and I went to my grandmother's house (Mamie) to put in her new cabinets in the kitchen. She just got a new refrigerator and it is smaller than her old one so my dad ordered new cabinets to fill in the gap. They actually match the old cabinets pretty well. So Mike was asked to put them in and I helped him. While we were there one of the miniature horses was loose so I had to put her back in the corral. We then fixed the fence, a temporary fix, as well. Once we were finished we brought Mamie to my mom's house for more family birthdays.

This month is Mike's birthday as well as Steve's. He is my sister Kristin's boyfriend. It is also my nephew Teddy's 13th birthday. I can't believe he is already a teenager! November 1st is my sister-in-law Ally's birthday so we were going to celebrate her's as well but she is still in Texas for her work. It has been really nice having all my brothers and sisters and their families get together about once a month. I just can't believe we have so many birthdays to celebrate.

So, now it is Sunday and a new week will begin soon. I wonder if we will get any news this week. I think the hardest part of this wait is the not knowing. We haven't heard anything about our paperwork but I could deal with that if I could hear something about how Colby is doing. Why can't we even get an update on him??? Maybe soon......

Another Weekend

This weekend was a busy one. On Saturday I went shopping with my mom. Shopping is one thing my mom and I have always done togther. I can remember spending time going to the Meriden Mall with my mom on a Saturday ever since I was very little. Sometimes we went with just the two of us and other times we went with my Aunt Doone and her daughter Carmen. (We call my Aunt "Doone" but her name is Lorna. We have nicknamed her Doone or Doonie after the Lorna Doone cookies.) Mom and I went to the mall to get a birthday present for my sister-in-law Ally. Her birthday is Nov 1 but we are celebrating it and the October birthdays in our family this Saturday. After a little shopping, Mom and I went to visit Mamie, my mom's mom. It was nice to enjoy the afternoon together.

On Sunday, Mom, Dad, Mike, and I went to Mohegan Sun to see the Professional Bull Riders. This is something we have done for the past couple years. Mom and I really enjoy it the most I think. Mom bought the tickets for us for Mike's birthday. We enjoyed a nice fall car ride, looking at the beautifully colored leaves on the trees. When we got there we had lunch at "Johnny Rockets". My cheeseburger was pretty good but the onion rings were really good with the ranch dressing. Then in to see the bull riders. "The toughest sport on dirt." We had a great time. I love spending time with family so this was a great weekend. Hopefully we will have more great weekends to come, and hopefully soon we will share them with our son.

Free Time

I have noticed lately that I have much more time on my hands, free moments, especially at night. Up until last year, I was teaching and my nights revolved around correcting papers and checking lesson plans. Now my nights are free, as are my weekends. It has been nice being free but at the same time, it gives me more time to think. I'm not sure I like this thinking time. It has its ups and downs. I certainly have enough to think about. The adoption, my change in careers. I am still not sure what I want to do as a career. I know I need time away from teaching but I love working with kids. I love writing. I love taking photos. I love to bake and cook. But what should I do for a career? I hate not knowing. It seems like I have always known what I want to do "when I grow up", but now I don't. So much uncertainty is new territory for me and I am not sure I like it. For now, I take school portraits and every day is "Picture Day"! It is a fun job, certainly less stressful, but not quite something I can see myself doing forever. And my free time is taken up with spending time with Mike, playing with the dog, Misha, household chores, and a lot of online arcade games. My favorite of those has become "Cake Mania" and "Diner Dash". I have found that these games are often addicting. I also enjoy "Minesweeper", "Spider Solitaire", and "Solitaire". Perhaps some of you have some ideas for me. Any good hobbies or other activities to keep me busy? Any ideas for a new career? Hopefully some good news will come soon so I can use my time to update paperwork. I wish I knew what needs to be updated, I'd start on that right now.

Happy Birthday Mike

Today is Mike's birthday. We had a rather quiet day. After running a couple errands, we went to get a sandwich for lunch. Then we took Misha for a long walk at White Memorial. It is an animal sanctuary with a museum and lots of walking trails in the woods. We went to a different area than we have been before and walked along a fairly big pond just enjoying the different colors in the trees. Fall is definitely here. I love the dark yellowy, orange colors in the leaves. Then tonight Mike's parents brought us to TGI Friday's for dinner. I guess it is also Jocelyn's birthday. She is David's (Mike's brother) wife. I am not sure the exact date. Now Mike and Misha are snoozing on the couch as I play computer games and check up on the other blogs I love to read. I guess it is just another day.

We did get an email from the agency on Friday, but it wasn't anything important. I guess Svetlana (the coordinator in Yekaterinburg for our agency) needs another copy of the power of attorney paper. I am not sure why but we had to print it out and bring it to the bank this morning to get it notarized. That was the easy part. Now we need to wait for the goverment to open up on Tuesday to get it apostilled. It stinks because only the one place in Hartford can apostille papers and they take forever. I have brought a couple papers there myself but they don't like to rush through apostilles. I think my sob story worked to get them done, otherwise you need to send them through the mail and wait about a week to get them back. Goverment at its finest..... I don't think we can get to Hartford on Tuesday so I will have to overnight it and just wait. YUCK! I hate waiting.

Other than that, no news. I am slowly resigning myself to the fact that the holidays will not be fun. That the government in Russia will close for their holidays in January. And that I will not see my lovely little boy until at the earliest, perhaps February but most likely March. Once the government opens up again, the judge will want updates on paperwork so that will take most of February. Boy I hope I am wrong but that is what I think will happen. We just better get back before Colby turns 2 in April. Otherwise, I will go back anyway.

Ok, enough of the negative attitude. It was a hard day today knowing that I couldn't give Mike what he really wanted, that phone call from Russia. Hopefully good news will come soon.

No News.....

Tomorrow is Mike's birthday. How I would love to give him what he really wants but, it is not in my hands. All he wants, is a phone call or email from the agency telling us some sort of update about our adoption. It has been about a month and a half since we handed in our court paperwork but still no word from the judge. This is really frustrating. How can they make us wait so long? Don't the judges want these children to be with their forever families? Grr. I feel so helpless knowing that I can't do anything to speed up this process. My patience is wearing very thin, if you can't tell yet.

On a happy note, it is Mike's birthday so we will have to find something fun to do this weekend. Luckily it will be a nice sun-filled weekend, and fairly warm too. Then next weekend we are going to Mohegan Sun, the casino in Northeastern CT, to see the PBR (Professional Bull Rider's Association). We are going with my parents on that Sunday afternoon. So there are things to keep me occupied.

Judges

I have heard many stories about both judges in Ekat, one being a woman, the other a man. I don't know either of their names. Some stories have been good, others not so good. To answer one question, Mike and I will be dealing with the male judge. I'd love to know his name, but I don't so he is simply known around our house as "that guy judge". I have heard that of the two, he is a little easier in court and not quite so demanding with odd paperwork requests but we shall see. I just wish he would look at our paperwork and tell us what he wants. I hate this waiting period. It was much easier to wait when I had something to do, but now it is out of my hands. I guess that is my controlling side coming out. Everything is out of my control and it really bugs me. I guess I need to put my patient side on a little longer.

Keeping Busy...Trying to Be Patient

My job at LifeTouch taking school portraits is certainly keeping me busy. The weekdays are so full of commotion that there is little time to think of other things. Nights are worse though. Then I start to think and wonder when that phone call might come through. We are waiting for word from the judge on what paperwork he will want updated. Both judges in Yekaterinburg ask for updated paperwork at least once before setting the court date. Hopefully it won't be too much. We know the 8 doctor paperwork will need to be updated but we have that just about set. Also other financial paperwork will need to be done again. HOpefully it won't be too difficult to get.

Other than that, yesterday we spent the day at home, enjoying the nice Fall weather. We were hoping to head out for a nice walk in the woods with Misha, our black lab, today, but we woke up to a dreary day and rain in the morning. We went to Mike's Aunt Mary's for a celebration breakfast. It is his grandparents' 65th wedding anniversary. Can you believe, 65 years? It was nice to see his family again, although ti was difficult having everyone ask how things are going with the adoption. No news... No news... No news... I felt like a broken record. Maybe one day we will get some news.

On other adoption fronts, Laura and her husband have returned home from seeing their daughter for the first time, Nicholas seems to be doing great home with his family, Matt and Carla, and another fellow blogger is still in Ekat waiting for her 10 day waiting period to laps. She should be home with her 3 girls by mid-month. What great news! I am so excited for everyone.

So now I wait for the email or phone call. I am hoping to hear something by the end of the month. A fellow Ekat adoptee who went through the same agency we use waited about 2 months from handing in her court papers to hearing about what needed to be updated. We handed in our paperwork the first week in Sept so hopefully soon. Keep your fingers crossed for us. This waiting just plain sucks.

Leaving Comments

Today I ran into a friend from where i used to work. It was great to see her again. I have missed some of my fellow colleagues. I am a little surprised that I haven't heard from them but I guess we all get too busy with our own lives. Anyway, she mentioned that she had difficulty leaving a comment on here. For those of you that do not have a blog account, you can simply leave a comment by typing it in the box once you click on comments. Then I believe there is a code word or jumble of letters for protection. Type that in where it mentions it. Then click on anonymous. That way you do not need to deal with an account and password. Just remember to leave your name. HOpefully this helps a little. I love when I get comments. Or, you can just email me at Khamele@sbcglobal.net

I look forward to hearing from all of you. Keep in touch.

Family Gathering

Yesterday Mike and I went to my parents' house to celebrate family birthdays. My mother's, my sister Karin's, my sister Kristin's, my sister-in-law Jan's, and my nephew Alex's birthdays are all in September. What a busy month. It was great to havee everyone all together. We don't usually get everyone together, so it was really nice. We enjoyed a nice afternoon and hamburgers and hotdogs and just great company. I really enjoyed watching my nephews play my parents' Wii. My mom and dad like to play the bowling and do the Wii Fit. As we left last night, I did mention to Mike that it was nice to have everyone together, but as I said it I felt sad since not everyone was there. Perhaps next year Colby will be with us so he and his cousin Keith, who is only 2 months younger than him, can play together. Then that would trully be a perfect day.

Another Letter Sent

Yesterday I sent another letter to Colby and Tatiana, the director of the baby home. I have been sending one a month. It helps me feel a little more connected while we are apart. Along with the letters, I try to send a little something. The July letter included two little baseball caps. They always keep the kids in hats when they go outside so we wanted to send a couple for Colby and his friends. In August I sent a couple long sleeved shirts. It is starting to get cooler there already. Winter will be coming quickly. The two families that I know are in Russia now say that it is about 50 degrees now. Yesterday I sent a couple disposable cameras. I admit this was a selfish act on my part. Nothing for my little guy or the baby home but completely for me. I am hoping that the caretakers and Tatiana will take some pictures of him, themselves, and the baby home. I want to make a memory book for Colby and those pictures will be great to have as a reminder to share with Colby as he grows up. I'll also love seeing how much he will grow before we go back.

We are still hoping for Christmas. We shall see. The documents should be with the judge so hopefully we will hear what docs he wants us to update. Keep your fingers crossed for us for Christmas!

Happy Birthday and It's Been a Year

First, let me say a big Happy Birthday to my mom. She's celebrating a big one but I won't say which one!

Well, it has been a year since Mike and I went to our first informational meeting with Wide Horizons. I can't believe it! So much has changed yet so much remains yet to change. A year ago I had no idea I would have travelled to Russia, Siberia no less, to meet my child. I had no idea that a little curly blonde haired, grey eyed baby boy was waiting for me to go through a ton of paperwork and come get him. We've met with many different doctors, dealt with a social worker (who is amazing), met lots of great people who have been very supportive through all of this, lauhed, cried, and been totally amazed by this whole process. Where will we be next year? What will we have done? I look forward to celebrating my mom's birthday next year with her grandson as well. It's been a year, and it isn't over yet, but we are getting closer everyday. Hurry up judge and read those papers! We want to get back soon.

A Quiet Day, Lots of Birthdays, and Fellow Blogger Updates

Today was a nice quiet day. The weekend has had beautiful weather. You can tell that Fall is coming. It has been rather chilly in the mornings. Today I went with my mom and my Aunt Doone to a craft fair in Deerfield, Mass. Ever since I can remember, I have gone with them and my cousin Carmen (Aunt Doone's oldest daughter) to craft fairs and other shopping excursions. It was nice to go again today. We had a nice ride up there and walked around. We didn't buy much but the day was great nonetheless. Then we went down the road to the Yankee Candle Factory and had lunch and walked around. I really enjoy spending time with my mom and Aunt Doone but we haven't had much time together lately. Everyone is so busy. When we do get together it is always lots of fun, talking, laughing, and just enjoying eachothers' company. A nice day all around!

I also want to mention a few family birthdays. September is a busy month in my family. My sister (in-law) Jan had her birthday on 9/2. My sister Karin's is 9/15 and my sister Kristin's is 9/17. They are actually a year apart but Karin is older, so on 9/16 they are the same age. My mom's birthday will be on Mon 9/22 and my nephew Alex's is on 9/23. Lots to celebrate. I can only hope that Colby will be here next year to celebrate with them.

A congrats go out to a few fellow bloggers. One family is in Ekat visiting with twin daughters who will be adopted in just a few days. Another couple is travelling to Ekat tomorrow to see their daughter for the first time. Wow! Congrats to everyone. I love reading the updates and either gathering insight into our future trip or helping out those on their first visit. I look forward to all the updates.

TV Show

Yesterday, when I got home from work, I was flipping through TV channels and came across Discovery Health. This is a channel that I often watch. When I turned it on, the show that was on was called "Adoption Stories". The show was taped in 2004 and dealt with a family in Mass as they went through their adoption journey. This family decided to adopt from Korea. They already had a 7 year old son and due to the wife's age, they decided to adopt to grow their family. Of coincidence, the family used the same adoption agency as Mike and I are. It was nice to see that the agency did suuch a great job with this family.

The show did get me thinking though. This family went through the Korea program which allows for the child to be brought here to the family by escort and then the family does not have to travel to Korea. It seemed much easier than having to travel, especially with the high gas prices and changes in flight fees now. Mike and I will have to travel at least twice to Russia, we will most likely stay there while we wait out the 10 day post-court waiting period. The cost of the travel and missing so much work is not easy which makes the Korea program seem better. However, I sit here now recalling the experiences that Mike and I had while we were in Russia. Meeting other adoptive couples, seeing the country, hearing the language and meeting some of the people, seeing the baby home and meeting the director and the caretakers who are watching over our son. That is only a part of it. We can then share those experiences with our son when he is older. I would not take those experiences back. I loved every moment of them. I am not sure which adoption path might be better, easier, etc. However, I am content with knowing the Mike and I made a choice and it seems to be the right choice. Sure, we could have dealt without the 30 hour chaos of the flight there, but I am happy we did what we did. Now if only I could get back. No news yet. Ugh!

Still Waiting....No News

IT has been about a week since I posted anything on here, but there really isn't much to say. We had heard on 9/6 that our court documents were sent to Russia to be translated. I am assuming that they have probably arrived there and are in that process now. I hope that they hurry up with that so the judge gts them soon. We have not heard anything else. I haven't received any updates on Colby. I was told in July that they might give us an update once every 3 months or so. What agony.... It has been almost 3 months since we first saw Colby and I can only imagine how he has grown and changed. He must be a little bigger now and probably walking on his own. He was just on the verge of doing that when we first saw him. Is he talking now? Is he getting lots of attention and love? I hope to write him again soon and I want to include a couple throw away cameras. Maybe the caretakers will take a few pictures of him and themselves so I will have something to look at later to see how he is changing. I hate not being there. This is really hard.

The Beginning of the Wait

Well, it has been over 2 months since we first saw Colby. It is now September and children have returned to school. I have begun my new job as a school photographer. My first "shoot" was on Friday 9/5. It was tiring but fun. I really enjoyed interacting with the kids. I was really worried about how it would feel to be in a school and not be the teacher. But honestly, I didn't really think about it much. I was able to enjoy the kids and not worry about the administration and the requirements of teaching. It is nice to have my nights back and not worry about correcting papers and grades and all of that. I am thinking about doing some tutoring but I am not sure how to get that started. I don't really know anyone with kids except those where I taught before but I don't want to go there. We'll see what comes up. In the mean time, we begin the long wait.

As mentioned previously, Mike and I sent in our court documents on Wed. We received an email from Vica on Friday saying that they looked great, well organized, and she was shipping them off to Russia that night to get translated. Then they will go to the judge in Yekaterinburg. Hopefully not too much will need to be updated. But for now, it is not in my hands. I did my job as quickly as I could. (I hate waiting on people for paperwork.) I wish we had gotten in done quicker but I have been told it takes most people about 2 months to complete it all. That is how long it took us. And now we wait. While we wait, I am glad to be able to read fellow adoptive couples' blogs. I have enjoyed reading about how Nicholas is doing now that he is home and I look forward to many of the joys that are occurring in that household. I have recently stumbled onto another blog and that family is traveling in Yekaterinburg to get their twin girls. I look forward to seeing those photos as well. Hopefully Mike and I will share in their happiness soon. We are still looking at the end of this year but I am not sure. It has taken most families about 8-11 months inbetween the first trip and bringing their child home.If it does take that long, and we do miss Christmas than I hope to have Colby home before his birthday in April. I don't think I could bear him not being with us for a second birthday. Christmas will be hard enough. Please, everyone, keep your fingers crossed for us. Wish us good luck. We certainly deserve something good to happen.

Finally!

Yeah! I finally sent out our documents for the Russian court today. A total of 2.3 pounds worth of paperwork. Now our paperwork bundle is up to almost 8 pounds. But, it is complete thus far. Once it is translated, the judge in Russia will look through it and decide what he wants updated. Which means, more paperwork. Crazy, but true. I was very excited to send it out FedEx today. The agency will receive it tomorrow. Then it goes to Russia to be translated. I hope it doesn't take too long. We are still shooting for a return trip before the new year but I am not sure. The email I received today from Vica mentioned that 3 families are going to Yeakterinburg within a couple weeks. They have been waiting from 8-11 months between their trips. I know that with the accredidation process that things were held up a little last year. Hopefully we won't wait that long. If we do we may not even get Colby before he turns 2. This waiting stuff stinks. I have been patient for 2 months, I am not sure how much more patient I can be.

On the bright side, one of the couples we met in Russia has been home with their son now almost 2 months. He looks great. I have enjoyed reading their continuing story and seeing his pictures. Congrats C & M!

Relaxing Weekend

Mike and I had a great weekend. We brought his parents up to New Hampshire to my grandparents' house on Lake Winnipesaukee. My parents also have a house there, right down the road from my grandparents'. My parents were there as were my brother Keith, his wife Allyson, and their 1 year old son Keith. It was a nice, relaxing long weekend. We drove up on Friday after work and came home on Monday around lunch time. On Saturday we brought Mike's parents to Castle in the Clouds. It is an old mansion that was built in the Ossipee Mountains in 1914 for $1 million at that time. It is beautiful. You need to drive up the mountain about 2 miles to the carriage house and then take a short trolley ride or walk to the main castle. The scenery was beautiful and Mike's parents seemed to enjoy the ride. I was hoping to drive around the lake but we went back to the house instead. At night Mike, his mom, and I played dominoes after we all went to dinner. Sunday we went out to breakfast and stayed around the house. We enjoyed the peaceful sound of the waves, they were huge this weekend, and I read my book. Mike and I drove into Alton Bay to the craft fair and just to walk around.

Overall, the weekend was great. It was relaxing, something Mike and I certainly needed. We have been struggling hard to finish the adoption paperwork and the weekend away was perfect. When we came home, we found the last paper that we needed had come in the mail. I now need to bring that and my employment letter to Hartford to be apostilled tomorrow. The department will do 1 or 2 papers while you wait. So, our paperwork should be done tomorrow! I will definitely let you all know as soon as it is sent out. Then we need to wait, sort of patiently, for the paperwork to be translated and then see what the judge wants updated. So, we are slowly moving ahead. YEAH!!!

Moving Ahead and Missing My Boy

Well, we have had some movement in the paperwork area. Our CPA finished the letter on Monday and Mike picked it up. I couldn't believe it. Mike immediately called the state for the state verification of his license. Hopefully that is in the mail and we will get it before the weekend. That is the last paper we need. I sent the rest of the papers out to get apostilled on Tuesday. The light is shining brighter. What great news!

Today I am sending a package to Tatiana, the director of Colby's baby home. It has a note for her and Colby as well as a few photos to add to his photo album and a couple cute long-sleeved shirts. It is already getting cool there. Mike said it was about 60 degrees yesterday. Hopefully the shirts fit him. I'm really not sure what size he might wear right now. I wish we had some sort of an update on him. Is he growing? Has he been eating well and getting lots of hugs? Boy do I miss him. Hopefully we will get back there soon. We are aiming for December right now. We shall see.

It's About Time

Well, we finally got some good news on Friday. The letter from the psychologist came along with a copy of his license. I had already emailed the state to get the verification letter for his license so we received that as well. So, we have gotten somewhere this week. Unfortunately we also received not so great news. I did not receive the job I was hoping for. Luckily I do still have a job though. Mike was able to go to the CPA on Thursday to ask for the letter about our assets and liabilities. Hopefully we will get that sometime early this week. Then all I need is the verification letter for his license. I also hope to write another note to Colby this week and send a couple cute long sleeve shirts for him. The end drew a little closer, just a little. I wish we could get their quicker. Boy do I miss our little guy.

Frustration

Why does it seem that people can't do their job? Don't they understand what we are going through or at least have some comprehension about how painful it is to have to wait to return to get our son? Mike and I are still waiting to hear from the psychologist with his letter and a copy of his license. That is truly the only paperwork that we still need. The financial paperwork will be completed today. That we have held off on until I had heard about a job at the hospital I applied at. We haven't heard from them yet but we have decided to go with what we have and update the numbers if needed later. But still we sit here, more than 2 weeks after we saw the psychologist waiting for his letter. I want this paperwork done and out of my hands now! Can't he understand that he is holding up the reunion of a child and his parents? How frustrating to not have any control. The only thing we can do is keep calling him, everyday, at least twice a day. Hopefully we will get it soon.

When Will We Be Done?

It seems that I have been saying to many people lately that Mike and I are "almost done" with our paperwork. This has been the saying now for about two weeks. We are frustratingly close to having all the documents complete but yet can't seem to get those precious last couple of papers in our hands. We are still waiting on the spychologist for his letter and then I need to call for a verification from the state for his license. We also need to see a CPA about our financial paperwork. I have been waiting to see if the hospital I applied to work at will decide if I am hired. Then we would do the financial paperwork. Hopfeully they will call on Monday. Then we will do that paperwork and verify the CPA's license. Then we will be done. I see the light at the end but it is still just out of grasp. How annoying.

Yesterday began the Pilot Pen Tennis Tournament down in New Haven, CT. I have been volunteering there as an usher for 8 years now. It is a lot of fun. Today was our volunteer party so I was able to see my fellow tennis friends and show them pictures of Colby. It felt good to relate stories about Russia to friends. It was a nice connection to Colby, even for a brief moment. Now my nights this coming week will be busy. I look forward to the busy moments, less thought time. Well, let's go check the Olympics and head to bed soon. It has been a long, but busy week.

On the Right Track, Can it Go Quicker?

Well, I guess we are on the right track and getting somewhere, but can the train move quicker? Mike and I received the first half of our required documents back from the state where they were apostilled. They arrived on Thursday 8/7. What a great Thursday! One of the documents wasn't apostilled though because the twon hadn't notarized it. So Mike had to go back downtown and get a new document and argue to get it notarized. But it is done. We have been waiting on the state for the doctors' license verifications but they weren't sent. I am told they went in the mail on Thursday as well. Hopefully the psychologist is working on our letter and a copy of his license. Then we just need to get the financial paperwork done. We seem to be moving close but yet the end is still not quite in reach. I do know that once we hand in these documents that the judge will ask us to update many of them, but to know we completed them would be great. HOpefully we can say that we are done within a week or so. I just wish it would be sooner. Many people have said that I got the paperwork done fairly quickly. I say no. I have had to wait on too many people to do things for me. I just wonder how other couples get their paperwork done if both of them are working. I guess it has been helpful to be home to trek off to 2 or 3 doctors a day to get followup paperwork.

Other than paperwork, Mike and I have been working on the house. We finally bought drapes for the front room as well as an area rug for that room. Today we found a cute rug for Colby's room at BJ's. So I am happy with that. We also had to buy a new computer. Our old one was about 6 or 7 years old and running tired. It would take me forever to get onto the internet and open our adoption files. We just bought a new tower and kept the old monitor which works well. I hope to clean out the old computer and hang onto it for one of my nephews or for Colby. We'll see how it runs without most of the programs we use, just the basics. We also bought a new printer but it also copies, scans, and is a fax machine, which is something we have been using more often lately to get paperwork from doctors and different companies like the mortgage and car loan companies. So we have had a busy couple of days.

Today we are getting ready to have my friend Dawn and her family, Craig, Seth, and Casey, over for dinner. Just hamburgers, hot dogs on the grill. I met Dawn and her kids when I started teaching. I even taught her daughter in second grade. Now Seth is starting high school and Casey is in 7th grade. Boy, how times goes by. Well, I must check on my macaroni for the macaroni salad.

Thank you to all who are following our journey. I can't believe we actually had 2 international "hits". Cool!

Still Waiting

With a new week, comes more waiting. I was hoping to receive the state verifications of the doctors' licenses today, but they didn't come. Of course, we need to wait most of the day since our mail carrier seems to be coming later and later. We did however hear from the mortgage company and they have sent the letter we need from them via FedEx overnight. I guess my husband's constant calling has finally worked. Friday he got ahold of a supervisor who knew exactly what we needed. Where was she a month ago? So we should have that letter tomorrow. We also go to the psychologist tomorrow. Hopefully he will write the letter we need very quickly. The rest of the paperwork is coming in hopefully soon. I hope to have it all within a week or so. I wish there was something we could do to hurry it up. Even Mike is getting impatient. Being so close to having the initial paperwork complete and yet almost powerless to get the rest done, is almost unbearable. However, we are a little less depressed as well see the light getting brighter at the end of the tunnel.

More happy news, I did get offered the job with LifeTouch taking school portraits. It doesn't pay much and it is really only for the Fall and Spring but it is something and I do enjoy photography. I am also waiting on the hospital job as well. We'll see what happens. While I was looking at our adoption agency's website I also noticed that they need a part-time administration assistant. I would love to become involved in the adoption world. To give back and help other couples/families going through the same situation as Mike and myself would be a wonderful thing. I did apply but we will see what happens with that.

So life goes on and the wait continues.

A New Month - Progress

Well this week certainly brought some progress. Mike and I were very excited last night when we brought about half of the required documents to FedEx to be sent to Hartford. The State needs to put an apostille on all the documents before they can go to Russia. So a big step forward yesterday. We are still waiting on a few things but they should be coming by the end of next week. The one trouble we have been having is with the mortgage company. I don't know why but trying to get a simple letter from them has been quite difficult. But I think we made progress on that yesterday as well. Now we need to wait for that letter, the rest of the doctors' board certifications and the state to send letters verifying all the doctors' licenses. We also need the psychologist's letter and license but we see him on Tuesday.

I also made some progress with the job front. On Thursday I went to an open house for LifeTouch, the school portrait company. They offered me a job taking school portraits. But it would only be for Fall and Spring and the pay isn't great but I think it might be a fun job. I love taking pictures and I love kids. I might also be able to work at the local hospital in the laboratory department doing clerical work weeknights. That is also only a part time job but the pay is a little better. We should hear more next week. So once we straighten that out, we can get the financial paperwork settled with a CPA as well.

Mike and I were so excited about our progress that we had a mini celebration. Mike took me to Olive Garden - my favorite restraunt last night. We even had desert! What a great way to end a good week. I feel better knowing that the paperwork is getting done and I can almost see the light at the end of this paperwork tunnel. Here's to the hope that the good fortune continues!

Some Progress and Two Great Dinners

Well, I am happy to report that after some frustration yesterday with doctors, we have made some good progress with our paperwork today. Many of you will be happy to know that Mike and I still do not have a criminal record as noted by the FBI. The background checks were a pleasant surprise early this morning. The state is verifying the 7 doctors licenses for us so that should be on its way. We do however, need to obtain copies of each doctors board certifications in their specialties. The state can not verify their specializations so we need separate documents for that. Of the 7 doctors, I was able to get 3 today and I think 2 are in the mail. The other 2 are still a work in progress. So, some happiness today. We also went to see the mayor today and got him to sign the letter proving that we own and reside in our house. We also obtained the house deed and property card. All with certified copies, notarizations, and town seal/stamp. Hopefully Russia will appreciate all the stamps on our documents. Now we just need to send them to the state to get a state stamp or apostille. So many checks and balances. Is it good or bad? I'm not sure but it isn't much fun getting them all.

We just got back from dinner with Mike's parents. He had gone there to get bug spray for the dresser he made. I guess we still have some unwelcome buggies eating their way through the dresser. So he got the bug spray and an invite for spaghetti. A nice surprise today too.

Last night we had a nice dinner with my mom. Then Mom and I went to the movies. We saw Mama Mia. It was very funny. Mom and I going to the movies on a Tuesday night has always been a special thing for us. When I was in high school and home from college, we would go at least once a month or so. I really enjoy spending the time with my mom. I can only hope that my child/children and I will have a special bond like my mom and I do.

So, some really nice things going on here. We hope to have most of the paperwork sorted out and sent to the state within a week or so and then sent to Russia. Then we will see what we will have to update. I was also pleasantly surprised to see that my blog had an international "hit". That's great. I am not sure who might be reading this but I hope that it is helping someone. I'd love to hear back from some of you. Either leave a comment or you can email me at Khamele@sbcglobal.net I'd love to hear from other people who are going through similar circumstances. There is strength in numbers.

Lonely Rain

It's raining here
Is it raining there
Can you hear the pitter patter
And the splish splash of the rain
Can you smell the sweetness
Of the freshly washed grass

It's raining here
Is it raining there
Does the rumble of the thunder
Frighten you from your sleep
Does the flash of the lightning
Sparkle brightly in your eyes

It's raining here
Is it raining there
Don't fret my little one
Someone loves you dear
Sleep tight my little one
Dream of me, as I think of you

It's raining here
Is it raining there
One day soon you'll see
I'll hold you, comfort you
One day soon you'll see
Together mommy and baby will be.

July 27, 2008
Melissa

Separation during the adoption process is not easy. But in the end, we will be together, one family. That is my promise to you. I only hope it will be before the new year comes. Until then, my sweet Colby, I will dream of you. Will you dream of me?

A Month

It has been raining and storming a lot here lately. I guess the weather seems to reflect both mine and Mike's moods. It's been a rough couple days but I am not quite sure why. Why just the past couple days? Why so hard? I guess the simplest answer is, it has been a month since we came home. A month. It seems like forever but yet it seems like it went quickly. At least we can say a month has gone by so now we are a month closer. But how many more months need to go by? How much longer do we need to wait? While we wait, I turn toward my writing. It lets me get my thoughts and feelings out. The following is a poem that I wrote brought about by the rain. It was written to my baby boy, Colby.

Rug Shopping

I am not sure why but it seems that whenever Mike and I are looking for something, we never seem to find it. Our newest journey has been shooping for a cute rug for Colby's room. We have all hardwood floors but we want an area rug to go in his room. We have decided on an animal/safari themed nursery and would love a rug to match. The rugs that go with the crib sets are all small. So we have been looking everywhere for a rug. Of course, before we actually tried looking for a rug, my mom and I saw some cute ones at BJ's, a wharehouse type store. Now that I brought Mike there, they are gone, except for the little girl rugs. That doesn't help. So, our luck on this adoption journey remains about the same. I guess we can chalk this adventure up to....that's just how everything has gone, why change now. I guess like everything else, I will plug on and get through this as well. We have awhile to find a rug anyway.

Passports and FBI Checks

Our mail has been coming verry late lately. We have a new mail lady and she seems to take her sweet time. We used to get the mail by about 1 or so. Now it is coming around 4 or even 5pm. I guess today, though, it was worth the wait. We have recived our new passports today so we can move forward with any paperwork requiring our passport ID numbers. Thankfully that mess has been cleared up. I am surprised at how quickly they did come, within about a week. However, we did not receive our FBI clearance check yet. I am told it can take about 3-4 weeks, the same amount of time to get new passports, however last time they came within a week. I guess we were lucky last time. We shall see if they come soon. We still need to wait to do the financial paperwork so I guess I'll be a little more patient. However, patience is wearing quite thin. So some good news anyway. YEAH!

Good News, Bad News, No News

Oh the duplicity of adoption. There are no good days or bad days. Every day has its bad and good moments. My thoughts and feelings jump from hope to despair and everywhere in between. Yesterday overall I guess was a good day. Our documents that we are waiting on all seem to be coming within the next week. We did receive our old passports back yesterday with a promise that the new ones are on their way. So we can update the passport ID numbers on the paperwork. We finished our medical 8 doctor paperwork mess yesterday but now need to visit with a psychologist as well. That was scheduled for Tues 7/29. Now we need verifications from the state for all the doctors. Those should be coming soon. I am waiting on the FBI check but hope to have it soon. Last time it only took them a week. So the paperwork trail is coming to a close for now. We know that much of the paperwork will need to be updated again. Why? I can't tell you. I have no answer. That is what Yekaterinburg wants so that is what they get.

One downside, we need to wait on the financial paperwork since I still have no job. I went for an interview with People's Bank. HOpefully that will turn out ok. We'll see. I don't hold out much hope. I fear that the work situation is helpless and thus the adoption is helpless and will never come to fruition. I hate to think that my old "boss" and a couple coworkers may be the reason that I don't get to bring my baby Colby home. That had better not be true. But, I must strive on and find that job. Colby is counting on me, Mike is counting on me, everyone is counting on me, and I hate to let people down.

As for the no news, I think that might be the hardest. My son is across the world, separate from Mike and me, and we have no idea what he is doing. Is he happy or sad? Did he get a hug and feel loved today? I know we were told that we will receive updates about him and some pictures but we have heard nothing yet. The unknown is what hurts the most. I can do something about the paperwork and the job but I can't change the fact that I am not there to watch my baby grow and play and just be himself.

A Month Gone By, Feelings

It has been a month. 4 whole weeks since we first were in Russia and saw Colby for the very first time. At times it seems like yesterday and at other times, I wonder if we were really even there. A month ago we went from Yekaterinburg to Kamensk-Uralski to the baby home and met Tatiana, the baby home director. A month ago went to the baby home and first saw this blond haired, gray eyed little boy with the cute little smile and long skinny fingers. Those big gray eyes first looked at Mike and I in surprise but soon seemed to twinkle with delight as we played with him and brought him on the swing. I am not sure if I can say it was love at first sight. Perhaps yes, perhaps no. I do know that it seemed at the time to be a little surreal. This little boy will become my child, really? We will become a family? Is it really true? I still have a hard time believing in that concept. It still seems to good to be true. However, I now have a clear image of Colby in my head and I find myself thinking about him many times a day. Is it the same as a mother's love? I am not sure right now. But I know that it will be.

As for a month gone by, that is a good thing I guess. It at least brings us one month closer to going back. We finished our 8 doctor treasure hunt and are getting through the other paperwork. We are still waiting on the new passports and the second FBI check. We need to take more pictures of us and the house, including Colby's room. The crib is up, and has been since December. Mike has almost finished the dresser that he is building for Colby. We hope to have that in the room this weekend so we can take new pictures in there. We are still waiting on the mortgage and the car loan companies for those letters as well. Everything should be coming within a week so we should be able to hand most of it in soon. The paperwork with the new passport numbers will have to wait as will the financial statement. I want to wait on that until I find a job, hopefully within the next couple weeks. So, we are making progress but for me it is way too slow. Hopefully they are making progress in Russia as well. I have not heard from Svetlana yet. I hope we will get an update soon.

Getting Somewhere

Well, today Mike and I were able to get our signatures from the primary care doctor. Now I have only one signature left and Mike has 2 to get. Yeah! At least that is moving forward, all be it slowly. Now if only a new job would come along. I am not sure why that has been so ellusive for me. I understand that the economy isn't great right now but it seems like I can't get anything. I know my mom would call this my defetist attitude but I am not sure how I can change that view point. Everything needs to be more difficult, more complicated, and more ellusive for me than for others. I don't know why but it is. I can only hope that things will change and I will find that job, the paperwork will become complete, and we will return to Russia soon. I really miss Colby. It feels like my "home" has been torn into two pieces and one pice is half way around the world. Will I ever be whole again?

Getting Somewhere

5 doctors done for me and 4 for Mike. We are just over half way complete. I don't think I have ever had so many doctors' appointments in my life. At least we now know that we are healthy, nice people who have never been in trouble with the law or the government. We just recently received the next batch of paperwork requirements. I have already completed some of it. I hope to be all done with it, except for the papers that need our new passport ID numbers, within the next couple weeks. I am waiting on people to send us letters or apostille the completed papers. At least I feel like I am getting somewhere. Who knew that an adoption would require so much paperwork? The poor trees...

Passports and Visas

I want to update all of you on the passport saga from yesterday. I wrote that we went to get new passports because they had gone through the wash. Well, we were told that the new passports will have a new ID number and the old ones will be destroyed not returned to us like usual. So now some of our paperwork needs to wait to be done when the passports come in about a month. We need the new ID number first. Also, when Mike and I returned from the post office, giving them our passports and registering for new ones, we received the email from Wide Horizons telling us what paperwork we need to do now. Well, as I was reading the pages of instructions, I noticed towards the end one small line. We need a copy of your Russian Visas from your last visit. I almost flipped out. The Visas is inside the passports. We just gave up our passports to be destroyed. I had to go back to the post office and tell them the story and ask for a copy of the passport Visas. Luckily we met very nice people at the post office and they have been extremely helpful. They talked with me for a little while and I showed them a picture of Colby. They still had the passports there, they were going to be sent out at 3 and it was about 2. Luckily I got a copy of both of our Visas. What a whirlwind day!

One Step Forward, One Step Back

This whole adoption process really is a test of will and patience. My will is running strong but my patience really is running thin. We are lucky that the medical paperwork is going fairly well. We had a setback with one doctor but that has, thus far, straightened out and the other doctors have been very helpful. They all look at the paper that we need them to sign and laugh and say it is riduculous. Everyone asks how we are handling all the running around. It is tiring but worth it. We certainly wish we didn't have to do it but if we must, we must. We will grin and bear it I guess you can say. Today we achieved our 4th signature, so we are half way there. YEAH!

On the negative side, I will warn everyone that is thinking of traveling abroad, DO NO WASH YOUR PASSPORTS. When Mike and I got home, we were very tired. The next day, still half asleep, I started the laundry. I should know better since Mike is almost always leaving something in his pockets, but I did not check his or my pockets. We washed our passports. They looked fine to both of us but we called the passport agency and they said that they were probably damaged and we need to get new ones. We can't just renew the passports that we have. We need to be issued brand new ones. Another 4 week wait. That wouldn't be too bad except that they charge us for new ones and much of the adoption paperwork has our passport ID numbers on it. Just great. Now I can't get all the paperwork done until I wait for our new passports to arrive. I just love government at work. Anything to get more money from us. So a good step forward but a dumb step back. I will work on the rest of the paperwork and whatever needs our passport numbers on it, will have to wait. I hate waiting. I just hope this doesn't set us too far behind. We still are looking at a Christmas time trip back to Russia.

Another Weekend Gone

It has been 3 weeks since we first met Colby. At times it seems like just yesterday and at other times it seems a lifetime ago. Is that possible? We are making some headway with the medical paperwork. Today we go back to the pulmonologist. Hopefully he will sign the papers for us. Then we will have 3 signatures out of 8.

The weekend was a good one. I spent Saturday with my mother. We went shopping at Babies R' Us. Two of my cousins are having babies. One lives in Oklahoma and his boy is due in a couple weeks. The other lives around here and she is due to deliver her child in early Sept. There is a baby shower set for her in August so my mom and I went to get her a present. She is decorating the room in all frogs. We bought the lamp and a few blankets for her and we bought a cute cowboy outfit to send to my other cousin. It is so cute. We also went to BJs, a wholesale club store around here. Mom bought the carseat that Mike and I want. She even found a cute outfit for Colby at Babies R' Us. Hoefully it will fit. It is hard to figure out what we will need for him. How big will he be? What will he be eating? Will he still want a bottle? So many questions...

I am quite happy for both of my cousins. It is great that they will have the family that they want. But, although I try not to, I also feel jealous I guess you can say. They will experience the birth of their children. I can't. They will experience their children's first day of life. I can't. But in the end, we will all have beautiful children to spend the rest of our lives with. What more precious gift is there, no matter how we get there. There are many ways to achieve parenthood, Mike and I are just on a different path.

Making Headway on Medical Papers

Today Mike and I went to see two more doctors for our medical paperwork-a pulmonologist and a pschyciatrist. You will all be happy to note that we breath ok and are not crazy. The psychiatrist signed our paperwork. YEAH! We need to return to the pulmonologist on Monday to see how our breathing tests came out and then he will sign the paperwork too. So by Monday, we should have 3 out of 8 of the necessary signatures. So I am feeling a little better today. Not quite so stuck.

We had dinner tonight with Mike's parents and his brother, David, and his wife, Jocelyn. It was a nice quiet dinner and and David and Jocelyn's house. Thank you both. It was the first time that we saw them since we have returned from Russia so of course I brought the pictures of Colby to show them. Jocelyn seems to agree with many people that Colby really looks alot like Mike. Well, if he does, that's ok, since Mike is a cutie. I loved showing the pictures of Colby. It helps bring me a little closer to him by reminding me of the time that we spent with him. Inevitably we end up telling stories about the things he did and the fun we had with him. I can't help but smile when I talk about him. So, today was a nice day. Tomorrow, I am off shopping with my mom for a baby shower gift for my cousin who will have her baby in Sept. We might also stop and get a carseat for Colby. We'll see.

In Between and Stuck

Today I just feel stuck. Stuck counting days, but not sure what day I am counting down to. Stuck still with no job. Stuck inbetween being the mom I want to be and waiting to find out what paperwork we need to do. I am not sure how to get myself unstuck. I am unsure how to stop feeling so blah. It can't be easy for Mike to deal with me so emotional. I am sure he wants to get back to Colby just as much as I want to. We are so close but yet today I feel so distant from everything. Just blah.

Waiting and a Happy Note

Now that we are fairly caught up on our story, my posts will be about present day.

It has been 2 weeks since we first met Colby. Someone asked if we are adopting him from the town of Kamensk-Uralski. Yes, we are. The baby home there is great and we know that Colby is in good hands until we return to get him. HOwever, I hate knowing that he is there and I am here.

The first week or so wasn't to bad. I came home and began working on the medical information that the region requires. It is rather time consuming. I have also been working on the job situation. I am making better headway on the medical stuff than the job stuff. We have set up appointments for all the specialists, I just hope that they will all be helpful and sign the paperwork without too much hassle. As for the job, it still frustrates me. HOpefully that will come soon.

Mike and I did have a setback yesterday dealing with the doctors. Most of the specialists have been very helpful but one doctor is giving us a difficult time. I had a feeling that she might, so I don't know why I was so upset when we left her office. Just being there, thinking about what we need to get through, I was suddenly in tears. Why? I hate crying. I guess that my frustrations just needed to be expressed. I knew that Mike was upset too. I am trying not to get so worked up over this but I just needed to let it out. Writing this blog and reading other blogs has been helpful but a short lived cry never hurt, right?

I am not sure if anyone else has had this problem, but I just can't seem to fall asleep at night. Is this normal? Am I going crazy? My thoughts seem to go into overdrive around 11PM and sleep alludes me. Monday night I couldn't fall asleep at all so I ended up in our family room so I wouldn't disturb Mike. I wrote in my journal and kept staring at the pictures of Colby. Will I ever have a good night's sleep again? Perhaps the whole job frustration and the looming paperwork is the cause, perhaps having Colby so far away is the cause. I think it is both.

On a very happy note, CONGRATS to the Morgans. They have picked up their son from his baby home and they are now a united family. The pictures are so cute! CONGRATS!

Peace Through Writing

June 29th. I have always been better with the written word than the spoken word. I was looking through the internet and remembered that CM mentioned that she was writing a blog about her adoption journey. I found it and realized that by writing my own thoughts that I would be able to get some of my frustrations out and hopefully feel a little better about waiting for a court date that seems years away. Her blog is beautiful and reading it helps me realize that my thoughts, fears, and feelings are common and it is ok to feel the way I feel. That brings me some peace. Thank you CM.

Hopefully my blog will be read by others and perhaps it will help other people going through their adoption journeys. That is what a hope for. I have almost gotten my journey caught up to date. The next few posts will probably be about the paperwork and medical nightmare that we are up against. I can't believe what we need to do. It seems ridiculous but I suppose that it is necessary, according to Russia. I only hope that the doctors will be cooperative with all of this. We shall see.

The next few days I need to focus on two different things. 1) Setting up appointments with the 7 or 8 different specialists to sort out the medical paperwork. 2) Trying to find a job. The second has been very difficult. I am not sure if I want another teaching position. Perhaps. I am not sure what I want to do. I am great with computers and would be an asset to any company in an office. If there is anyone who has any thoughts about a job, please let me know. That and the medical information seem to be the next obstacles to overcome on our adoption journey. Luckily I have Mike to help me and give me his support, and I have Colby waiting at the end, a clear reminder of why I am putting myself through this emotional rollercoaster.

The Return Home

June 27th. That was the day I left a piece of myself behind in Russia. It was the hardest moment thus far in my life. We had a 5AM flight to Frankfurt, Germany so we had to get up very early. I am not the best morning person so luckily my brain wasn't going crazy too early. I don't think it hit me until we took off in the airplane that we had to leave Colby behind as we went home. As we took off, my heart sank. How could I leave such a sweet baby boy in Russia while I go home? To do what? Paperwork? Just ducky...

We only had about a 4 hour layover in Frankfurt before we would take off for NYC, then our 2 hour drive home. As we waited in Frankfurt, I spent the time looking at the pictures of us with Colby as well as the video we had taken. Boy are we terrible at taking videos. But it certainly made us laugh. It will be great to watch as we wait to return. I remember a feeling of uncertainty yet amazement as we left for Russia, now I also had a feeling of uncertainty, but for different reasons. I wasn't sure when we would see Colby again. How would I be able to wait to go back? How would we get through the whole medical paperwork nightmare? How will my patience survive, since it was already getting stretched thin? So much unknown. The one thing I did know- Mike and I love Colby and we will survive and bring him home. I just hope it will be before Christmas, what a great Christmas that will be....

Our Second Visit With Colby

Thursday June 26th. This was a day of mixed feelings. I was so happy to be visiting with Colby again but yet I knew it would be the last visit for a long time. We had been told that there would be about 6 months inbetween this first trip and the court date. I woke up excited yet sad. We went to the baby home in the morning and arrived right when Colby was waking up from a nap. I was a little nervous about seeing him again. I wasn't sure how he would react to both Mike and myself. However, the minute they brought him outside, I went up to him and held out my arms to hold him. He practically jumped into my arms. He remembered me! He even gave me a little smile showing off his top two teeth.

Once again Mike and I played with Colby outside. Someone brought out a blanket so we could sit on the floor and I took out a couple of his little toys. I guess that wasn't enough for him because he crawled right over to the backpack we had the toys in to find more. I'm not sure how he knew we had more toys in there, but he did. So we dumped the whole bag out and played for a little while. This time we made sure to take more pictures and a video. Around 12:00 a caretaker brought out his lunch. I am not sure exactly what he ate, but he loved it. Boy can he eat. Colby immediately grabbed hold of a small piece of bread and smashed it into his mouth and was soon choking. I was devastated. Our first time feeding our baby and we let him choke himself right away. Once we got him relaxed, Mike and I took turns feeding Colby and taking pictures and video.

At one point, Tatiana brought out one of the other caretakers. She had been Colby's caretaker when he first arrived at the baby home. However, he became so attached to her that he would cry and get upset if she tried to hold another child. So Tatiana had taken Colby out of that wing of the baby home and put him in a different section. This caretaker wanted to see Colby and us as well. She fed Colby for a little while too. After she left, he didn't want to eat much more so we played a little bit. Then his current caretaker came out. I guess she decided that he hadn't eaten enough so she fed him a little more. We took a few pictures of her with Colby. It was evident that she cared for Colby a great deal. I am glad that I saw that interaction. I know he will be well cared for while we wait to return to Russia. Then she left with the lunch tray and brought him a bottle of juice. He certainly loves his juice. Mike and I held him while he drank his juice. Colby can hold his bottle but he would lose his balance if he tried to drink it sitting on the floor, so we just held him. It felt great to hold my son and feed him. I couldn't believe I was actually doing it.

Soon Svetlana returned and asked how we were doing. I knew our time was almost up. I hated for it to end. Colby needed to be changed and it was time for his nap so we had to go inside. We talked with his caretaker for a little while and gave her a gift. We also left Colby's toys with her so he could share with the other boys, and we left a photo album for him to look at of us, our parents, the dog Misha, our house, and a couple pictures of us with him so he could remember who we are. We then said goodbye to Tatiana and gave her a gift as well as gifts for the other caretakers. As we walked away from the baby home and got in the car, I felt terrible. I hated to leave him. I knew I had to but I almost couldn't understand why. I knew that I would be leaving a pice of me behind. That night I was very quite as I tried to get ahold of my thoughts and feelings. I knew Mike was upset also. We felt just awful. At that moment, I wished that I could stay in Russia until it was time to take Colby home. But alas, the paperwork must be done and I still had a job to find so I knew I had to go home. We had an early dinner and went to bed around 8:30PM since we had to be up about 2:30AM to get ready for the airport. Our plane was leaving around 5AM. So we had a nice visit with Colby and hopefully the memories we made both on Tuesday and Thursday would keep us until we would return.

Life Experiences and Waiting

Wed, June 25th. This was a waiting day. We had seen Colby for the first time the day before but wouldn't be going for another visit until Thurs. I am not sure why we couldn't go on Wed as well but we couldn't. Mike and I woke up early as usual and had breakfast in the hotel. I wanted to make sure we saw the 4 couples that morning. 3 of them had their court dates later that day so I wanted to wish them well and get their email addresses. I hope that we will stay in touch. I enjoyed talking with them and learning about their adoption journeys. After breakfast, Mike and I went walking around the Yekaterinburg. We were able to find a small pharmacy type store and bought diapers. I even made Mike carry them back to the hotel. His first diaper purchase. I guess he better get used to buying them. We also were able to get our pictures developed from our first visit with Colby. I wanted to make sure we added pictures of us with him to the photo album I had brought for him.

Buying things in Russia has certainly been interesting. I know only a couple words, hello, goodbye, thank you, in Russian and often the people in the restraunts and stores know little or no English. However, with a lot of gesturing and writing numbers (thankfully written numbers all look the same) we were able to sort out what we wanted and how much it costs. When we bought the diapers, the lady in the store was very helpful. She tried to explain which ones to buy and wrote down the prices for us when we went to the register. When we went to leave, I said goodbye to her in Russian. Her face lit up in surprise and she started to smile and laugh. She started to speak in rapid Russian like she thought it was great that I said goodbye in Russian. It was a nice exchange.

Later that day, Svetlana picked Mike and I up and brought us to border between Asia and Europe. That is the picture of us at the top of the blog. Yekaterinburg is actually on the continent of Asia but the border is very close by. We took a lot of pictures of us standing on both continents at once. I can't imagine that many people can say that they have stood on two continents at once. It certainly was an amazing life experience.

That night, Mike and I went to see the ballet at the Ballet & Opera House in Yekaterinburg. It wasn't a full ballet performance however. They performed pieces of two different ballets by the same composer. Having taken dance lessons all my life, I love theatre and the ballet. It was another great experience. The only trouble was that it was so hot in the theatre it almost lulled both Mike and I to sleep.

So although we didn't get to see Colby today, it was a nice day. We enjoyed our experiences greatly but we were looking forward to seeing Colby again.

Oh My Gosh! How Adorable!

Can there really be love at first sight? I wasn't sure until now, but now I know there is! We first met Colby on June 24th, a Tuesday, and I must say he is the most beautiful baby I have ever seen. Those big blue eyes and curly hair melted my heart right away. Mike and I were both very nervous about our first meeting. We had heard other stories about kids crying, screaming, or just sitting there with no expression. When the Director of the baby home brought out Colby, he looked like he had just woken up. We were told that they had just woken up and were fed lunch while we were talking over the medical information with the Director. The Director made sure he had a hat on and then went back inside. Our coordinator, Svetlana, stayed for a little while and then left to run a few errands. Mike and I were alone with Colby. We were a little surprised by that but I'm sure someone was checking on us now and then.

I held Colby first and all I could do was smother him in kisses and hugs. Looking at the pictures now, you can see from his expression in the early pictures that Colby wasn't sure what to think. I am sure that we all felt the same way. But it didn't take long for him to warm up to us and play with the toys we had brought for him. He loved going on the swing and the slide as well. I think Mike was also very nervous because we had been told that the children in the baby homes aren't used to men and that Colby might not want to go near him. That certainly wasn't the case. At one point Mike and I were passing Colby back and forth. One minute he would want me to hold him and then he would hold up his arms for Mike to hold him. It was very cute.

Our first visit seemed so short. I think it was about 3 hours but it seemed like 5 minutes. We had a nice time playing with Colby and taking pictures. We forgot to take some video so I wanted to make sure we took some on the next visit. We said goodbye to Colby and signed the paperwork to accept the referral. How could I say no to such a beautiful, loving child? Then we headed back on hour hour and a half drive back to the hotel. I was already looking forward to seeing Colby again. But we would have to wait until Thursday to come back. I wasn't sure what we would do on Wednesday but all I wanted was to go see my baby again.

First Trip, First Day

June 22, 2008. That was supposed to be a day of firsts. First trip to the Ministry to receive our official referral and first trip to see our child/children. We were given a tentative referral for twins and Svetlana had told us that they were a boy and a girl. We knew nothing else. I think it was the unknown that had kept me up most of the night. Either that, or the overwhelming anticipation of meeting our child for the first time. The emotions were overflowing. Mike and I had a rough night trying to sleep. Both of us were up almost every 2 hours or so, counting the moments to our visit to the Ministry. Finally around 6AM Mike had had enough and got up to take a shower. I read for a little while and then got up as well. No use fighting sleep, when sleep won't cooperate. We were ready and went down for breakfast around 7:30.

While eating breakfast, I noticed a group of 6 people who were speaking English. Face it, while in a foreign country, you can't help but eavesdrop on a conversation that you can actually understand. I overheard them talking about their upcoming court dates and when they would bring home their children. I later found out that there were 4 couples who were adopting children from Russia just like we were. They, however, were on their second trip and ready to bring home their children. 3 of the couples were going home while they waited the 10 day waiting period after court then they would come back. The other couple were staying until they would bring home their daughter. They were adopting an 8 year old girl. Later that afternoon we ran into the couples again and talked with them then. It was nice talking to other couples who knew what we were going through. One of the couples is actually from Trumbull. I really hope that we can stay in touch. They adopted a little boy who will be 2 in Aug. He is just a little older than Colby. All the couples decided to get together for dinner that night.

Svetlana got to our hotel around 10. She had called to say that our meeting at the Ministry wasn't until about 10:15, a little later than we had first thought. The Ministry is in an older building that, like many buildings in Yekaterinburg, is being remodelled. In the main lobby, we went through a metal detector and Svetlana showed her ID at the counter. A guard stood in the lobby. It all just added up to making me a little more nervous. We went in the elevator upstairs and waited outside the office. There were 2 other couples also waiting, and a couple came up after us. After waiting a little while, we entered the office.

It was a small office with 2 ladies sitting behind a desk. The one lady looked younger and had very dark hair. She had all the paperwork in front of her. Svetlana had told us what to expect when we got there, so we sat and listened for the most part. The dark haired lady read our referral from the paperwork in front of her. She told us we were referred for one boy, names Sergey. Svetlana translated everything for us, but then stopped. She wanted to know what happened with the twins. We were told that the twins had been referred to a couple once already who had a doctor look at them. There was some questions about the girl. She was having breathing problems and they suspected Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. So, we were given this referral instead. Very little medical information was known except that he was born prematurely but seeems healthy now. They showed us a computerized picture of him as an infant. We signed some paperwork tentatively accepting the referral so that we could go visit him in the baby home. Then we left.

When we got in the car, Svetlana tried to reach the baby home where Sergey was but the Director was on vacation until tomorrow. We would not be able to go see him until then. I was crushed. I was hoping, expecting, to see my child that day but yet I was told no, not until tomorrow. We went back to the hotel after Svetlana stopped to do an errand. Then we had the whole day to do "nothing". We walked around the city a little and took some pictures. That night we went to dinner with the other couples and enjoyed looking at the pictures of their children to be. We discussed our day with them and they wished us well on our first visit the next day. They talked about their first visits and overall it was a nice night.

That night, Mike and I discussed the day, both happy for the referral yet upset about the twins. I felt so sorry for those little babies but there wasn't anything we could do. I also felt a slight loss. We had come for two children but yet, we would only have one. It seems strange to admit that I felt a loss for something that I never had. Everyone had mentioned that the referral was just tentative but I guess I never let that word sink in. Twins would have been great, and getting a little girl would be too. Please, don't get me worng, my little boy is the most adorable, loveable thing and I am very lucky to have him coming into our lives, but for a moment, I felt that slight loss. Perhaps, I thought then, seeing my son the next day would alleviate some of that loss. Once again, I knew we would be in for a sleepless night. Will we ever have a full night's sleep again?